Sometimes, in my healing I use the word ‘Surrender’. In doing so I am not asking that one gives up and accepts defeat, it is more that I am suggesting that if they let go of what they are clinging to they might just find that there is, in reality no battle. In this context to surrender is to stop creating and/or feeding the chaos in their life. Once they stop feeding it it becomes just another life experience, something else for them to learn from and take the lessons forward.
There are many reactions to this suggestion however, the one I most regularly observe is fear. Some become a little angry or uptight, offended even that I have suggested that they are holding on to that which brings them so much pain when all along that is exactly what they are doing. For many, they know nothing different than the life they are currently living, bound up in hurt and pain, with few moments of true happiness if any at all. So if they do surrender what will their lives be? Who will they be? They do not hold on because they want to but because they know nothing different and therefore are fearful of a life without the burden.
What is it that creates the burden, pain, the anger, the fear? It is in fact emotional reaction. When something happens in our lives that hurts us in any way we react to it, usually in fear or anger (which is really only an aspect of fear anyway). Our gut might tighten, our jaw and/or fists might clench, our heart beat quicken all in reaction to the pain. In doing so we embed this reaction in our cellular memory and until such times as it is dealt with it will reappear any time we experience a similar pain and the vicious circle continues and in some cases expands ever outward bring with it much emotional, mental and physical dis-ease.
Herein lies the need to surrender. To allow yourself to let go of the reaction to the situation. To this the most basic rule is to change your way of thinking, to restructure the though processes from the negative to the a more positive process. Instead becoming angry and frustrated at the person who it blaring their horn at you in traffic and reacting in a similar manner, simply change your thoughts from “Who does he think he is!?” to “I wonder what has gone wrong in his life that makes him so aggressive? Thank goodness I don’t have the need to carry that much anger.” Or just change a negative “Don’t be so stupid, what would you know” to “That is an interesting point of view. Thank you for sharing.” One does not have to react with anger or negativity to anger and negativity. The quickest way to calm yourself and others is to have no reaction at all. Ask yourself if this is truly important in the outcome of your day. Will it make a difference to your life in the long run? Chances are that much of the time it will not, though sometimes it will and therefore the question you should be asking yourself is “Is this truly benefiting me? Does it bring me peace and calm? Does it enrich my life in some way?”
There are times when we are guided by learned behaviour. By the writing on our walls, which I’ve written about before. Remember that not all that we have learned and we allow to dictate to us is really what is right for us. Society teaches us that we must respect our elders, we must love our family members, we must live conform. This, however, is not always the case. Not everyone deserves our respect, not everyone deserves our love and it truly does not matter whether they are older, or family or not. There are always exceptions to the rules of society and we are allowed to take a course of action which will enable us to feel secure and safe. Surrendering the rules that do not best serve you, allowing yourself the freedom to decide for yourself how you choose to think and how you choose to react is the greatest gift you can give yourself. It is your gateway to peace and calm and you do have the right to decide to soar and live the life that you so richly deserve.
Peaceful journeys
Indigo (aka Trish)
Indigo's Musings 