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When…

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When your tears become a river
Washing out to sea
She will shed hers too
Alone so you cannot see

When harsh darkness shrouds you
And with pain and anguish cower
She will hold back the shadows
In this your darkest hour

When you need a beacon
To light a pitch black path
She’ll be right there beside you
The light of love in her heart

When you are tired and weary
And the demons starts to rise
She will slay them for you
With the fury in her eyes

When you feel you are deserted
And that you face this world alone
She’ll reach out and take your hand
And guide you safely home

Trish Johnston © 31st August 2016

Filters, Fears and Frauds

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The wind is howling outside. It kind of suits my current mood, I am almost tempted to go out and stand in it with my arms held high and allow it to just cleanse me… blow over me and around me and take with it all the heaviness that seems to be taking up residence within. Maybe that is something I will do later, after I’ve purged my thoughts and allowed them to pour out onto the page before me in a rather confronting yet liberating gush.

You see, what really concerns me so much today is the way that filters seem to have taken over our lives. I despair at the fact that some many, especially women, in this time where the selfie has taken the world by storm, seem to find it necessary to use filters in their photographs. Are we, as a society becoming so obsessed with ‘perfection’ that we cannot accept ourselves as we really are, warts and all? There are so many apps out there these days that enhance the eyes, smooth the wrinkles, remove the blemishes, even change the shape of the face and the body. The question I ask is WHY? Why do we consider it necessary to do this?

Now I know that I am no oil painting. I am well aware that my skin is no longer as fresh and youthful as it once was, wrinkles are starting to make their presence felt along with those peculiar little formations that seem to be referred to as ‘age spots’. I have surrendered to the white which took up residence in my hair more years ago than I care to acknowledge. My body tells the tale of a couple of pregnancies and births and also genetics and throw into the mix an inherent lack of exercise. All in all, at 53 I am as far from perfect as any of us, even more so than some. However, for all my insecurities and imperfections I am very pleased to say that I do not feel the need to hide behind a filter. I may choose not to point the lens in my direction very often but I refuse to use a filter or photoshop to enhance what I look like.

Since when did it become the trend to have to cover up the wrinkles and the signs that we have lived a life which may or may not have taken its toll upon us as much physically as it has done mentally and emotionally? Who said that blemishes were unacceptable? Why should anyone, young or old feel it is necessary to smooth out the wrinkles and remove the blemishes on their skin? Me I see these things as one’s own uniqueness, their proverbial fingerprint. The wrinkles were hard earned through the trials and tribulations of life, or even, in the case of laugh lines the joys and celebrations of life. I look at photos of many young women today and see so many generic faces. The use of the filters and editing has taken away the beauty of their individuality.

How I wish that the superficial obsession with this physical perfection would be gone from our lives. We are very much in danger of losing sight of reality. Take a browse through any social media or internet site. You will see photographs of stunning landscapes, sunsets, sunrises, of almost anything in fact, which have been manipulated and altered, or as some prefer to call it ‘enhanced’. How can people claim this to be photography in its true sense? Photographic art maybe but certainly not photography in its purest form. This day of digital media is, for many, fast negating the pleasure in what we are surrounded with on a day to day basis. Some sunsets just are not as spectacular as others. Does this make them less appreciated, less peaceful, less soothing? Some flowers have a soft and delicate colour as opposed to others which are vibrant and strong, does this make them less beautiful?

I wonder how many ‘photographers’ today actually get their results through the lens rather than their pcs. How many really know how to use the light properly to allow nature to enhance and enchant in her own way. I certainly do not claim nor profess to be a photographer. As any of my family and friends will tell you I do love to take photos but I try so very hard to capture a moment, a glimpse of something which to me is beautiful. Most of the photos that I use to illustrate my writing is my own work, not because I think I am particularly good at it but because to me there is beauty in even the barest landscape, even the most bland and colourless flower… because they are real! My knowledge of editing programs is minimal, mostly restricted to cropping and adding text. Occasionally I will enhance a photo but when I do I always ensure that I keep the original or that I do it in such a way that people will be fully aware that it has been altered. I do not sit in judgment of those who use editing programs, I do however mourn the loss of our appreciation of reality.

We live in such fraudulent times, where fear of being ordinary and original seems to drive so many to live through filters to create illusions. I just hope that we never lose sight of the fact that true beauty comes from within, from the essence, whether it be in humans or in nature.

Peaceful journeys,

Indigo

Evolution of Life…

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Life
like nature
an evolution
a birth
a dying
a rebirth
a playground
a battlefield
a journey of discovery; of loss
a journey of great beauty and fulfilment
of devastation and tragedy
an ebb and flow of emotions
just like the tides upon the shore
arriving with a sweet caress
only to be drawn away reluctantly
by forces unknown
a sprinkling of stars
like diamonds
glistening upon vast oceans
as our thoughts
create hurricanes, floods, and droughts
hell fires that scorch the deserts which are our minds
our hearts, our dreams
only to spring back
with such abundance and grace
as the wildflowers in the desert
so that we may dance and sing
and rejoice again in the wonders
of this…
Life

Trish Johnston © 24th August 2016

 

 

 

Echoes of Silence

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Sounds of silence echo
In a hollow heart
No words, no touch, no laughter
Souls joined yet apart

Joy and sorrow mingle
In this empty tomb
Seedlings awaiting sunshine
To burst into bloom

Darkness gently blankets
Though fear does not exist
Love and laughter await us
It is the Angels wish.

Indigo Wisdom © 28th January 2012

Chains

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Locked up in a world
where your light is fading fast
life becomes a challenge
when you hold onto the past

Chains become so heavy
though you are unaware
that these chains do not bind you
for it’s you who keeps them there

If your grip you loosen
then open up, let go
sit back and watch them fall away
peace and calm will flow

Some may protest loudly
shake, shudder and rattle
others will be whisper quiet
as you no longer fight the battle

Open up and welcome freedom
embrace the change within
give yourself permission
to let your new life begin

You may be surprised
when the truth you find
nothing keeps us chained
except our own mind

Trish Johnston 2nd August 2016

I wonder….

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Look around you carefully
I wonder what you see
I wonder do you hear the sounds
of silence as you breathe

Do you hear your heart beat
the blood flow through your veins
the thoughts that tumble softly down
like a gentle summer rain

Do the winds unsettle you
Do clouds darken your days
Do you love the sweet caress
of the suns warm rays

Are there thoughts within your mind
that you wish you could share
or do you prefer to keep them
safe and secure there

Do memories often taunt you
from a past that’s brought you pain
sneaking up unexpectedly
to raise their ugly heads again

Or maybe thoughts of pleasure
with a warmth all of their own
wrap themselves around you heart
their words written in stone

Do you hear the whispers
blowing across the lands
of hope and love and promises
drifting through the sand

The senses tell us stories
without uttering a word
be present in this moment
and within all will be heard

Trish Johnston 17th July 2016

 

Intelligence – how do you perceive it?

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Intelligence – what does it mean to you? I enjoy intelligent conversations but then what I class as intelligent conversation may not be your idea of the same.  I am not highly educated.  I do not have an overly extensive vocabulary. Does this equate to lack of intelligence on my part?  Some may deem it so, however I do not measure intelligence on one’s level of education nor on their use of high falutin words, or their knowledge of world events or other cultures or politics such as this.

I personally see intelligence as one’s ability to embrace all they can, to be open to every experience whether it be ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  It is about having an opinion or a point of view while allowing others to have theirs and listening to those opinions with an open mind and appreciating and respecting them for what they are.  We do not have to agree with one another to have intelligent conversation nor do we have to refute, merely to listen and respond.

I have had some wonderful conversations with people with no formal education, people who simply speak from their hearts, sometimes a little timidly, sometimes with great passion.  What makes these conversations intelligent to me is the fact that these people know their truth. They know their feelings and their words don’t come from another persons mind but straight from within.  Intelligence is not one’s ability to recite another’s teachings it is about one’s ability to know what they feel and to express this to honour the existence of these thoughts, ideas and concepts.

I recently had a conversation with someone who inferred I was not as intelligent as he because I had not travelled extensively; he questioned my interest in other cultures because I did not watch foreign films.  Since when does one’s intelligence align with one’s bank account or work opportunities?  Since when has watching films spoken in a language I cannot understand been a measure of my ability to use my mind?

Some one else who I consider to be very intelligent because of the stimulating heartfelt conversations we have considers me more intelligent than them because I am able to express myself through my writing.  This is not intelligence, this a merely my tool to express my intelligence; my tool to express my thoughts and ideals.  So I have the gift of the gab and my amazing friend is not so fortunate (or unfortunate as some may say!) to have this same ability.  We are both intelligent human beings, we just utilise this intelligence differently.

I have had some dreadfully boring conversations with highly intellectual beings who perceive themselves to be experts or near enough in some fields. Most of these people have not learned learned through experience, they have often developed almost tunnel vision in their pursuit of their holy grail. To be spoken to with condescension by another person reveals much more about them than it does about me. Does their lack of tolerance and ability to communicate with in an ordinary everyday conversation make them intelligent… I think not, however you are entitled to your own belief in this as you are in everything.

Intelligence, what is it to me?  It is the ability to be yourself and allow others to be who they are and still encourage and enjoy open and honest communication.  What does it mean to you?

‘Til next time… peaceful journeys

The Looking Glass

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It stands there, the looking glass
Hoping to catch your eye
To show you all the blessings
That in you reside

It shimmers with the kindness
That with others you share
That firm but gentle way you have
Of letting others know you care

It glows with commitment
To a job well done
Of all those tasks completed
And many more to come

It ripples with unfinished dreams
of days within your past
Waiting to be drawn out
From that place they’ve been cast

It vibrates with the love
that your heart cannot contain
The passion being awoken
As you learn to live again

Look now into the looking glass
Gaze at the spectacular view
See everything that others see
The wonder which is you.

Trish Johnston 5th February 2016

Progress? Change? Or just simply life?

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Ever had that feeling that there is so much more to life than what you are currently doing?  It is something that I experience from time to time and it has only been in recent years that I have started to honour it.  I have had many ‘wise’ people tell me that ‘one day you will have to stop running away’.  It used to make me stop and doubt my inner feelings, make me wonder what exactly it is that I am ‘running away’ from.  These days I no longer listen to these helpful folk.  I know that what is within me is my ultimate guide. My wisdom comes from within and while there are times that I allow fear to dictate I know that I will find peace once I let go of that fear and do what feels right to me.

I do not feel that I am running from something, nor do I feel that I am constantly searching as others sometimes tell me I am doing.  Searching implies that I’ve lost something.  I certainly do not feel that I’ve lost anything, rather that each and every time I make another life choice I am growing and evolving on many different levels.

Several years ago I became the proud owner of a beautiful website.  A wonderfully patient friend produced some stunning art work for the site. The site was to showcase not only my healing modalities – Kinesiology, Reiki, Massage, Spiritual Guidance but to allow me to share my writing with the great big wide world.  At first, like most people I was very enthusiastic and posted regularly.  Then gradually I allowed the demands of life as it was then to change my focus.  Eventually I forgot how to even log on to manage the site so I allowed it to go where so many other websites go, that graveyard in cyber space!

Recently I had the urge to start up my website again.  In the intervening years from when I began my first site and now I have had so many experiences, some of which were painful, some of which were very extremely enjoyable, all of which culminated in the realisation that within me there is the soul of a gypsy, a wanderer, a free spirit.

As I progressed along my path experiencing life, I wrote many poems on so many different topics.  At times my emotions poured out through my keyboard, raw and revealing.  Some who are close to me find it too difficult to read about the darkness and anguish that plagued my life (or maybe they just really don’t enjoy my writing!!) but there were others, usually strangers who contacted me, telling me how moved they are to at last have found someone who could put into words the emotions that they themselves had been feeling but were unable to verbalise.  What a wonderful revelation that was to me.  To be seen as a ‘voice’ for the expression of the deepest feelings of not only myself but of so many others is an honour beyond all others.  Just as I consider it an honour to have an individual come to me for physical, hands on healing of one modality or another; to experience the level of trust that people place in me is truly humbling.

I have long been aware that my life purpose is healing.  There is nothing that gives me more pleasure than to be involved in the healing process of another, to facilitate the healing and hopefully sharing with them the tools which will allow them to take their own healing to another level.

Recently I have been experiencing many aches and pains throughout my body.  Of course, being in my early 50’s I was prepared to accept that age was catching up with me and that the dreaded arthritis was invading my joints.  Off to the doctor I went and fortunately he decided to send me to a specialist.  The specialist had no real opinion to offer one way or the other but did arrange for me to have almost every bloody test known to man.  After having 9 phials of blood taken for goodness only knows how many tests I eventually received the call from my doctor asking me to come in and discuss my results.  Guess what?  The results revealed that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me!  No signs of arthritis in any way shape for form. Xrays also returned with nothing visible. So what is this mystery illness?  Why am I experiencing pain daily, almost constantly?   My health according to science is extremely good.

The idea has been filtering down to me in various ways for a while now that maybe I am not doing what it is that I was put on this earth to do.  How can this be so?  I am a healer and for the past year or so that is what I have been doing.  I have my own little business with a wonderful client base, I have been living my dream. How can I not be doing what I am meant to be doing?  

I have just returned from a week in Rotorua, New Zealand.  The trip literally fell into my lap and was totally unexpected.  I invited a girl friend to join me and away we went.  I do not believe in coincidence, my belief is that the Universe lays things out before us and it is up to us to either recognise the synchronicity or go on ignoring the signs.  Whilst in the wonderful Rotorua I attempted to make appointments to see local ‘spiritual healers’ in the hope that they may have some revelations for me.  I was unable to lock down appointments for various reasons so I decided to just book into a spa for a 30 minute massage while my friend had a treatment.  Thank you Universe!  Here, in the surrounds of this very lovely but quite commercial spa I found my spiritual healer.  She took one look at me when I walked into the treatment room and started lecturing me.  Why am I carrying so much pain belonging to others?  Do I not realise that the pain I am experiencing is not my own but that of my clients and most likely many others as well?  Of course, being a spiritual person I am fully aware that this is one of the dangers of being an empath and a healer.  We had a lovely discussion and the beautiful Marji massaged away the pain and the weight of what I had been carting around with me believing to be my own.

Also during the trip my friend received an email from her publisher with suggested cover designs and type fonts to choose from for her soon to be published novella.  It was so special to share this exciting time with her.  I know how much writing means to her as it is a passion we have shared since meeting.  As we sat and talked late into the night for many nights on our holiday we spoke of our dreams and explored possibilities of what might lay ahead for each of us.  At one stage I found myself telling her that she had no need to pursue a career in healing as her particular healing gift was in her ability to write.  Hello? Where did those words come from and were they only for her?  

A culmination of so many things which have occurred in the past couple of months has given me the awareness that my focus must return to my writing.  My healing does not have to be only in the form of getting people up on the table in my little clinic and soothing away their woes.  My healing can and will be also through my words, my ability to express from my heart whether I am writing of my own experiences or others.  How many times does a light bulb have to go off before I listen to my inner self and do what I am truly deeply passionate about?  Yes, I love my little clinic but it does not have to be my only focus.  I must embrace ALL that I am, allow my words to flow and trust that those they are meant to reach will through one channel or another find them when they will do most good.

So, is this progress?  Is this change?  Or is this just simply life and the Universe leading me to my ultimate Utopia?  Keep an eye on http://www.indigowisdom.com.au to see where this journey goes.

Until next time, which I am expecting to be real soon!

Take care,

Indigo (aka Trish)

Destination Unknown…does it really matter?

My kind of country

As I sit here in my little studio listening to the neighbours hens clucking I look out at the far north Queensland greenery surrounding me and wonder what else life has in store for me. I know that I am up for whatever it may be; I also know that it is up to me to explore and open up the pathways which are waiting to be discovered. Some may call me fickle, others may perceive my gypsy streak to be that of one who is continuously searching, me I am starting to see myself of a connoisseur of my own life. I am my own Gatekeeper, my conscience is my own, I do not seek nor need permission from others to live my life as I see fit. There are those to whom I will turn when I am throwing thoughts around. Input from these people is important to me, not in that I will hang on every word they say, merely that there are times when other’s views can shed some insight which I have not already considered.

There are many sayings out there along the lines of “It is not the destination, but the journey which is important”. This is so true. If we strive only for the final destination then we are living each day with only our final demise in our vision. Surely there is a far more vast and meaningful purpose to us living this human existence than to seek to the end of our lives. It is the stops and stumbles, the triumphs and the tears, the baby steps and the giant leaps, the celebrations and the sorrows which make the journey so uniquely our own and oh so worthwhile.

Was it really only a few short months ago that I was living in Adelaide, South Australia, being consumed by my work for a company whose only focus was on the almighty dollar? I was just a pawn in the corporate game and silly enough to imagine for a short time that my contribution meant something to “them”. Eventually I realised that I was just like all the others, when they had sucked the last little bit of usefulness from me they would cast me aside with no thought of my loyalty or the commitment I had shown to the company or its people. Exhaustion had skewed my perspective on so many things and I was close to collapse. In true gypsy style the only thing to do was to bid them adieu and move on. As my own Gatekeeper I made that choice and do not regret it for one moment.

It has been difficult living at the opposite end of the country to me friends of the past few years. I did not make a lot of friends in Adelaide but those I did connect with are very special to me. I do not grieve for them as they are still very much a part of my life and always will be, just as the friends I have made here in Cairns, Far North Queensland will also be.

The most difficult thing for me has been the environmental change. My heart aches for the wide open spaces of the arid state of South Australia. Here I am surrounded by mountains and rain forest…an eternal sea of green. My daughter tells me that green is good. Of course, she is right. Green is wonderful and full of life however I yearn for the colours of the dry country. The blue of the clear sky above the endless rolling sea of purple, gold, orange and green bathing the red soil. The hues of the migrating of season as they change before my eyes. Am I romanticising? Possibly but to me the constant green is beautiful but stifling. So much beauty surrounding me which I appreciate but it is not my kind of beauty.

To be continued…..