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Letter from an empath

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I’m not sure if you believe in empaths but let me tell you a bit about this empath.
She feels (not just senses but FEELS) almost all of your emotions.
She hurts when you hurt.
She feels your withdrawal.
She feels when your spirits lift.
She feels your fear.
She understands your pain and uncertainty.
She spends weeks with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach… a fear, a desolation which is not hers to own.
She feels your feelings of failure, of anger against the hypocrisy and injustice you’ve been subjected to.
She knows when you have little energy or enthusiasm for life.
She knows how much you need her but are too numb or fearful to reach out.
She knows how little you trust yourself.
She knows also that you expect far more of yourself than she does.
When you cry, she cries.
When you laugh, she laughs.
She understands the need for solitude for she also seeks it.
She will work hard to protect herself however her sensitivity is the essence of who she is.
She is strong though vulnerable.
She will open herself to the possibility of excruciating pain.
She will love unconditionally on many levels.
She will not give up on something that she truly believes in.
She has a depth which others find disconcerting and uncomfortable.
She looks into your eyes and sees your soul.
She understands that what she sees before her is only superficial and skin deep there is so much more.
She feels the vibrations of the land.
She draws her energy from Nature, not people.
She hides her pain from others behind a smile.
She has accepted and is comfortable with who she is.
She accepts that her journey is her own.
She knows that others may judge her but that does not concern her.
She recognises others from her tribe.
She is not quick to trust, however, she has time for everyone.
She will shut others out when she is in need of rest… for however long this may be.
She lives her life from a place within her heart.
She shares her love with many but has only one true love.
She guards her heart with a ferocity of a lioness but when she gives it she give her all.

You may not believe in empaths, but I sure do for what I have just described is my life.

Peaceful journeys.

Filters, Fears and Frauds

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The wind is howling outside. It kind of suits my current mood, I am almost tempted to go out and stand in it with my arms held high and allow it to just cleanse me… blow over me and around me and take with it all the heaviness that seems to be taking up residence within. Maybe that is something I will do later, after I’ve purged my thoughts and allowed them to pour out onto the page before me in a rather confronting yet liberating gush.

You see, what really concerns me so much today is the way that filters seem to have taken over our lives. I despair at the fact that some many, especially women, in this time where the selfie has taken the world by storm, seem to find it necessary to use filters in their photographs. Are we, as a society becoming so obsessed with ‘perfection’ that we cannot accept ourselves as we really are, warts and all? There are so many apps out there these days that enhance the eyes, smooth the wrinkles, remove the blemishes, even change the shape of the face and the body. The question I ask is WHY? Why do we consider it necessary to do this?

Now I know that I am no oil painting. I am well aware that my skin is no longer as fresh and youthful as it once was, wrinkles are starting to make their presence felt along with those peculiar little formations that seem to be referred to as ‘age spots’. I have surrendered to the white which took up residence in my hair more years ago than I care to acknowledge. My body tells the tale of a couple of pregnancies and births and also genetics and throw into the mix an inherent lack of exercise. All in all, at 53 I am as far from perfect as any of us, even more so than some. However, for all my insecurities and imperfections I am very pleased to say that I do not feel the need to hide behind a filter. I may choose not to point the lens in my direction very often but I refuse to use a filter or photoshop to enhance what I look like.

Since when did it become the trend to have to cover up the wrinkles and the signs that we have lived a life which may or may not have taken its toll upon us as much physically as it has done mentally and emotionally? Who said that blemishes were unacceptable? Why should anyone, young or old feel it is necessary to smooth out the wrinkles and remove the blemishes on their skin? Me I see these things as one’s own uniqueness, their proverbial fingerprint. The wrinkles were hard earned through the trials and tribulations of life, or even, in the case of laugh lines the joys and celebrations of life. I look at photos of many young women today and see so many generic faces. The use of the filters and editing has taken away the beauty of their individuality.

How I wish that the superficial obsession with this physical perfection would be gone from our lives. We are very much in danger of losing sight of reality. Take a browse through any social media or internet site. You will see photographs of stunning landscapes, sunsets, sunrises, of almost anything in fact, which have been manipulated and altered, or as some prefer to call it ‘enhanced’. How can people claim this to be photography in its true sense? Photographic art maybe but certainly not photography in its purest form. This day of digital media is, for many, fast negating the pleasure in what we are surrounded with on a day to day basis. Some sunsets just are not as spectacular as others. Does this make them less appreciated, less peaceful, less soothing? Some flowers have a soft and delicate colour as opposed to others which are vibrant and strong, does this make them less beautiful?

I wonder how many ‘photographers’ today actually get their results through the lens rather than their pcs. How many really know how to use the light properly to allow nature to enhance and enchant in her own way. I certainly do not claim nor profess to be a photographer. As any of my family and friends will tell you I do love to take photos but I try so very hard to capture a moment, a glimpse of something which to me is beautiful. Most of the photos that I use to illustrate my writing is my own work, not because I think I am particularly good at it but because to me there is beauty in even the barest landscape, even the most bland and colourless flower… because they are real! My knowledge of editing programs is minimal, mostly restricted to cropping and adding text. Occasionally I will enhance a photo but when I do I always ensure that I keep the original or that I do it in such a way that people will be fully aware that it has been altered. I do not sit in judgment of those who use editing programs, I do however mourn the loss of our appreciation of reality.

We live in such fraudulent times, where fear of being ordinary and original seems to drive so many to live through filters to create illusions. I just hope that we never lose sight of the fact that true beauty comes from within, from the essence, whether it be in humans or in nature.

Peaceful journeys,

Indigo

Apathy… like a cancer grows

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Recently I shared a post on social media and prefaced it with the following:

“It is so sad that some don’t perceive us all as equal. Each and every day people are losing their homes, their freedom, their dignity, their right to live peacefully, their families and loved ones and often their lives… who really cares? Unfortunately, it is apparent that unless it is happening to people in “predominantly white” more affluent countries it seems that very few care. A life is a life and all are just as precious as yours and mine. We do not have the right to judge or put ourselves above another.
I know that we are bombarded by images such as the one in this article and as such have become desensitised to the horror of what is going on around us, maybe there is fault in the way that the media sensationalises and portrays certain things but that still should not be a reason for us to stop caring about what happens in our world… and yes, it is OUR world. One which we are allowing to become a battleground festering with hate and malice, destruction and devastation. We can all make a difference simply by caring. Put yourself in the situation that these people have found themselves in. Not every person in a war zone is fighting that war. Sometimes I am ashamed to be a human being.”

Now I understand that opinions are like the proverbial and everybody has one and that we are all entitled to said opinions. In fact, we are all entitled to do and say exactly what we please as we have freedom of speech and we live is a so-called democratic society. Which leads me to the point of this article. I wonder frequently what it would be like to live in a society where one has no right to speak one’s mind. Where speaking out for what I believe in could lead to imprisonment or even worse. Where an opinion is the most dangerous thing that you could possibly live with. While I am one of the least aggressive people I know I am sure that I would find it very difficult to survive. At times I just can’t keep my opinions to myself and my mouth firmly zipped. This some may see as a lack of control. I myself feel that it is a display of great control, yes, I do have a modicum of control!

Recently someone very dear to me told me that they had never experienced racism until they came to Australia. Now from someone who is third generation Ethiopian of Italian ancestry who was educated in a German school and has travelled internationally that is an interesting statement and one I found quite horrifying and confronting. It gave me cause to think about how we Aussies refer to our beloved country in terms such as ‘the lucky country’ oh, and we are ‘multi-cultural’ also don’t forget. While I do not believe that we should dwell on the problems of the world for if we did we would all end up with severe cases of depression and PTSD and other similar disorders, I do believe that living in our so-called lucky country we have developed an apathy and for many a sense of superiority. A sense of ‘not my monkeys, not my circus’ and this I can understand – to a degree.

Let me ask you a few questions… what is the worst experience you have ever had in your life? How does thinking about that experience make you feel? How did that experience affect your life and how often are you confronted with that same experience in your day to day life? I understand that many of us have had unsavoury experiences and they have had dramatic effects on us and the way we live our lives but can you imagine living your whole life with similar or recurring incidents on a regular basis? For most that is a ridiculous scenario which would be scoffed at for we have the capacity and the opportunity here in our lucky country to extricate ourselves or we have services and organisations which will do it for us if we cannot do it ourselves. There are many countries in this world where this is not the case, imagine living there, trapped within the confines of a society which controls you to the point where you have no voice, no value whatsoever. Frightening isn’t it? In fact, for most of us it is impossible to truly grasp.

What can we do about it, you ask? Now once again this in entirely my opinion and I am sure that there are many out there who will take great delight in ridiculing it however I stand strong in my belief that we all have our parts to play on this stage of life. We can care about human life, wherever it originates from. Regardless of race, creed, religion, birthplace, we are all human beings, our lives are all of equal value. We can teach our children this. We can, as individuals not place judgement on others. There are ‘bad’ people everywhere, all over the world, including here in our country and let me tell you some of them are as Aussie as you and me. (I wonder though this is getting off the track, what has made that person ‘bad’, what has happened in their lives to influence them to do what they do. It is true that often the ‘bully’ is the one who needs our understanding… maybe the subject for another blog another time.)

There are many ways to care. Show another a simple kindness. It can be a wonderful experience to sit and talk with people from different backgrounds to ourselves. There is so much to learn from others. We can encourage others when they are unsure; share our thoughts our hopes our dreams… it may surprise you to learn that many of us have very similar aspirations. Replace discord with harmony. It may sound very simplistic but most times it is achievable even though it may take effort.

I cannot tell you how often I have heard someone start a comment with “I’m not racist but…” Really? I would think that the mere fact that you have to clarify that before making a statement signifies the very real possibility that what is about to come out of your mouth is most likely discriminatory and judgemental in some way. My thoughts immediately are “When you are perfect, then and only then do you have the right to judge”… and perfection is not possible so ultimately the right to judge is not yours or anyone else’s. Take a look in your own backyard. Never ever forget that the person that you are putting down or criticising has their own story. Just because their journey is different to yours does not mean that it is wrong. You do not have to take the person into your home, hell, you don’t even have to speak to them, just leave them to live their life just as you choose to be left to live yours! Allow them to be who they are without assuming you are superior. Focus your energies on improving what you can, without forcing others to come around to your way of thinking. Encourage positive interaction, there is strength in numbers. If more of us make a conscious choice to take a good hard look at our lives and our reassess some of our values and the way we treat others we can indeed make a difference.
I am very aware that I alone cannot stop the bombing in Syria, or the atrocities in New Guinea or other long forgotten and ignored places, no halt war in its steps, I alone cannot remove all traces of racism, hatred and discrimination but I am also aware that if I do not do my bit to bring and maintain peace in my immediate environment then I am, in my opinion, failing in my duty as a human being. Ultimately, I am sure that the majority will agree on one point, we all just want to live our lives in peace.

I wish you peaceful journeys until next time…

Indigo Wisdom (aka Trish)  ©

Intelligence – how do you perceive it?

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Intelligence – what does it mean to you? I enjoy intelligent conversations but then what I class as intelligent conversation may not be your idea of the same.  I am not highly educated.  I do not have an overly extensive vocabulary. Does this equate to lack of intelligence on my part?  Some may deem it so, however I do not measure intelligence on one’s level of education nor on their use of high falutin words, or their knowledge of world events or other cultures or politics such as this.

I personally see intelligence as one’s ability to embrace all they can, to be open to every experience whether it be ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  It is about having an opinion or a point of view while allowing others to have theirs and listening to those opinions with an open mind and appreciating and respecting them for what they are.  We do not have to agree with one another to have intelligent conversation nor do we have to refute, merely to listen and respond.

I have had some wonderful conversations with people with no formal education, people who simply speak from their hearts, sometimes a little timidly, sometimes with great passion.  What makes these conversations intelligent to me is the fact that these people know their truth. They know their feelings and their words don’t come from another persons mind but straight from within.  Intelligence is not one’s ability to recite another’s teachings it is about one’s ability to know what they feel and to express this to honour the existence of these thoughts, ideas and concepts.

I recently had a conversation with someone who inferred I was not as intelligent as he because I had not travelled extensively; he questioned my interest in other cultures because I did not watch foreign films.  Since when does one’s intelligence align with one’s bank account or work opportunities?  Since when has watching films spoken in a language I cannot understand been a measure of my ability to use my mind?

Some one else who I consider to be very intelligent because of the stimulating heartfelt conversations we have considers me more intelligent than them because I am able to express myself through my writing.  This is not intelligence, this a merely my tool to express my intelligence; my tool to express my thoughts and ideals.  So I have the gift of the gab and my amazing friend is not so fortunate (or unfortunate as some may say!) to have this same ability.  We are both intelligent human beings, we just utilise this intelligence differently.

I have had some dreadfully boring conversations with highly intellectual beings who perceive themselves to be experts or near enough in some fields. Most of these people have not learned learned through experience, they have often developed almost tunnel vision in their pursuit of their holy grail. To be spoken to with condescension by another person reveals much more about them than it does about me. Does their lack of tolerance and ability to communicate with in an ordinary everyday conversation make them intelligent… I think not, however you are entitled to your own belief in this as you are in everything.

Intelligence, what is it to me?  It is the ability to be yourself and allow others to be who they are and still encourage and enjoy open and honest communication.  What does it mean to you?

‘Til next time… peaceful journeys

Meditation Tips

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“You will often hear of the symbol of the water lily being used in spiritual unfoldment.  The lily shown on the surface of the water is an ancient symbol of the unfolding spiritual gifts.  If you would cultivate gift of the spirit, first close your eyes and ears to all that is physical, then create a vision, or a mental picture, of a harmonious beautiful garden.  Walk through your garden to the innermost sanctuary, passing through the wide-open gate; and within the inner garden, see the silent pool, pure and still and so clear… still water of the spirit is clear as crystal.  You may look into that water, and see the true reflection of yourself, for the waters of the spirit never lie.  One the surface of the water you will see the lily, pure white, with a centre of gold ~ white and gold, symbolical of purity and divine intelligence.  Rest quietly in contemplation of this perfect flower.” ~ White Eagle.

There are many of you who tell me that your minds are too busy to meditate, too many thoughts coming through.  You must remember that meditation is not necessarily sitting in the lotus position slipping into a deep trance like state.  Many of us meditate without even realising that we are doing it.  Have you ever just sat and watched a scene and allowed your mind to drift?  You find yourself deep in thought and often something startles you to bring you back into your present surroundings.  This is meditation.  Busy people sometimes experience something similar when they are performing mundane task that take little or no concentration, like washing the dishes for example, ironing their clothes, gardening or mowing the lawn, or when fishing.  Many of you will find that if you think about it you have actually meditated often without realising that this is what you are doing.  While this may not be the deep meditation that you would like to experience, it is a good place to start.

The secret to meditation is don’t try to force it.  I find that if I concentrate on my breath I am able to relax quite rapidly, however that was not always the case.  When I first started to meditate I was told to concentrate on my breath and allow it to relax me ~ of course, that is what I did but in doing so I kept my conscious mind so in tune with my breath that I had no hope of relaxing.  It was only once I moved my focus from the mechanical process of breathing to the actual flow of breath in and out of my body that I started to appreciate the method.  What many fail to explain to our ever attentive students is that to meditate we need to not focus on the act of breathing it is the breath which is important!

One little trick which works for me when my minds is particularly busy is to sit with my eyes closed, imaging in my mind’s eye a single candle burning brightly in an otherwise totally dark room.  I focus on the candle and I breathe in relaxation and breathe out stress and tension.  Allow whatever thoughts you have to be attracted to the flame and then be consumed by it.  Once you have dispersed of the thoughts extinguish the flame.  You are left with a beautiful black void, indicative of a thought free mind.  Just sit within this void allowing images and emotions to come to you.  You will know the difference between messages through meditation and your regular thoughts quite easily.  Messages usually come in a much gentler and more flowing manner whereas thoughts come in far more static manner and with more urgency.  Allow yourself to sit in the comfort of the darkness for as long as you feel you need, soaking up whatever comes to you and enjoying your connection with your inner wisdom.

Another method I find works well for me is to picture a pond in your mind’s eye.  Allow your thoughts to ride across the ripples on the pond, breathing in peace and relaxation and breathing out stress and tension.  When you feel you are starting to relax visualise your hands appearing over the pond.  Ever so carefully use the palms of your hands to smooth the waters of the pond taking with them all thoughts until you have a perfectly flat surface and no thoughts.  Use your mind’s eye to gaze on the water allowing your inner wisdom to rise to the surface of the pond.  Take in all that is presented to you and enjoy the experience.

It is important to realise that you may not receive precise messages, you may not feel that you are ‘getting’ anything.  Allow any colours, symbols or emotions to register.  In many cases these are the messages.  People often expect light bulb moments with messages that are so profound that their lives will be changed forever.  If this were the case we would all spend far too much time in meditation and no where near enough time in the ‘real world’.  If you get nothing else from the process you will have spent some quiet time and will have relaxed for a spell.

Do not be too despondent and disappointed if you ‘get’ nothing.  Meditation takes practice as do most things.  Stick with it and know that each moment that you spend in meditation is a moment spent in your heart.

Obviously there are far more profound methods of meditation.  What I am sharing with you here are just the simple starting points for those of you who would like to give it a try.  You may wish to meditate on something in particular.  If this is the case allow your mind to clear of all but the matter in question.  Once you have ‘placed’ it into your meditation, let it go also as you did your other thoughts, then just relax and enjoy going within to find your answers.

Don’t forget to make sure that you are in an environment where you will not be disturbed by your telephone or others walking in on you.  If you hear noises around you don’t let them interrupt what you are doing, just gently brush them aside and let them float away from you.

Peaceful journeys

 

It’s NOT all about you! Is it?

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One thing I see constantly in my healing practice is people who constantly battle with the image they portray to others.  My response to them is usually along the lines of “Does it really matter?”  For many years I, as most people do, lived my life fitting into what I thought were the boxes I was meant to be in.  The ones that ‘fitted’ with where I was in my life at that time… the wife, the work colleague, the mother, the daughter, the sibling, the friend and so the list goes on.  I strived to be as ‘perfect’ as I could be in each situation and in doing so I created a reality for myself which became more and more of a battle each day. You see, what I never really understood is that it is not all about me!  In the words of the late Wayne Dyer “What other people think of me is none of my business”.

How others act or behave is a reflection of them and their stories.  We do not have to make it all about us.  If someone is hurtful towards us most often it is because they have unresolved issues around the situation.  When they feel the need to lash out or to undermine or control another it is usually because of their own insecurities in themselves.  There own limiting beliefs create their reality and they are attempting to project that reality on to those around them.  When we accept that reality and react as they want us to react we are then allowing ourselves to take on their issues.  Most of the time we are totally unaware that we are doing this. However, in doing so we are perceiving it to be all about us.

Many years of soul searching have taught me that all those cliches that roll off people’s tongues so easily really do make sense, however, it is not until you have accepted yourself that you are able to actually see that those who are the most negative in our lives are in fact the ones who need the greatest understanding and tolerance.  When I say this I do not mean that we have to tolerate their behaviour, it is entirely up to us whether we react to hurtful behaviour with hurtful behaviour or whether we chose to not become a part of that scenario.  If we are truly not making it all about us, we can see that there is something more behind this behaviour than someone wanting to hurt us…in fact it is usually more that that person is hurting themselves.  When we choose to react negatively we are validating their negative behaviour.  If we choose to not take part in it we are in fact not validating it and therefore it has no power over us.

Some years ago I and some friends were fortunate enough to meet a young gentleman from Rwanda whose family had been through the most painful and unimaginable times of genocide.  With what this young man had experienced he would well have been justified in being a ‘victim’, in hating the enemy.  However, his purpose in travelling in Australia was to teach people that the only way to stop these atrocities occurring is by loving and forgiving others.  He could well have made this dreadful story all about him, instead he made it about being an instrument of peace for the betterment of all.  I learned so much from the short time spent with young Yanik. Not least of which was… it is not all about me, unless I choose to make it that way and if I that is my choice I then have to live with the consequences.

It’s all about me… isn’t it? Part 1

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Ahhh social media. I’m so glad you came along. How else would I be able to know what my friend had for dinner or how many reps he or she pushed out in the gym today. How could my life possibly be complete without hearing a second cousin twice removed’s opinion on our current political leaders or what my friends granddaughter achieved at day care today? In this day of social media it is so easy to get caught up in other people’s lives. After all is that not what the likes of facebook, Instagram, twitter, snap chat and all the other social media applications are all about? As I scroll through my feed I see so much of other people’s lives there in front of me. I have to admit that much of the time I cannot help but think “What on earth were they thinking, posting that for all the world to see” but then that is only my opinion and as we all know we are all entitled to our opinions.

It also intrigues me that so many can and do become offended by posts and comments made by others. How on earth can people possibly be certain that the post was deliberately aimed at them? Were they tagged in the post? Did the ‘poster’ say their name specifically in the post? More often than not it is an assumption and this, my friends, is dangerous ground for as the old saying goes “to assume is to make an ass out of you and me”. When did we become so prickly?

If the shoe fits… In my observations it is most often those who are very insecure in their own worth who feel that every shoe fits them. Really people! Since when did life become so focused on you that you should become upset over a statement that without the help of social media you probably never would have seen/heard/read? Have our lives become so shallow that they exist only on a feed on your phone, tablet or whatever device you use for your social interaction? I wonder also how many have performed the simple exercise of using correct grammar, punctuation and spelling. Although from what I see in a lot of online interaction there is very little grammar used. I certainly don’t profess to be a grammatical expert however I can see that it can change the context of a sentence totally and completely. Because let’s face it, there’s a big difference between “Let’s eat, Grandpa!” and “Let’s eat Grandpa!”.

When we speak we use tone and inflections to deliver our words. When we write it is virtually a monotone. When we read this monotone we can place the inflections where ever we choose. This also is dangerous ground. Try reading “Oh thank you, that is very funny” with a smile and a happy lilt in your voice. Now try reading the same sentence dripping with sarcasm. Two very different interpretations, aren’t they? Do you see how an innocent comment could be easily misread?

Next time you want a bit of light entertainment go to your chosen social media application. When you want real, honest communication have a real, honest conversation. Hear the tone and the inflections. No more confusion, no more being precious and getting hurt by things that were not meant for you directly or were taken out of context. Just honest to goodness conversation.

Sometimes it is not all about you. Sometimes it is just your perception.

Part 2 coming soon……