Free Will

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Please don’t give me lines
inside which I am to colour
for lines are limitations
on what I’ve yet to discover

Please don’t build walls
I will dismantle them
and use their stones
to lay a path to the very end

For I will not be contained
within the rights; the shoulds; the rules
I now live in freedom
from these exasperating tools

Tools which are used to tame us
to curb our wandering ways
to keep us from discovering
the truth within each day

They tell me how to live
what is perceived as right and wrong
I choose to live beyond them
to my own beat, my own song

They tell me how to love
and they have no idea
that to love unconditionally
removes all the fear

For a love unconditional
will accept and allow
not attempt to recreate
a clone of others now

I choose to live my life
in the freedom of my truth
with no shackles of judgement
and no one else’s golden rules

I do not live in fear
of repercussions for my choice
for in free will I believe
and in life and love rejoice

Trish Johnston © 14th February 2019

Apathy… like a cancer grows

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Recently I shared a post on social media and prefaced it with the following:

“It is so sad that some don’t perceive us all as equal. Each and every day people are losing their homes, their freedom, their dignity, their right to live peacefully, their families and loved ones and often their lives… who really cares? Unfortunately, it is apparent that unless it is happening to people in “predominantly white” more affluent countries it seems that very few care. A life is a life and all are just as precious as yours and mine. We do not have the right to judge or put ourselves above another.
I know that we are bombarded by images such as the one in this article and as such have become desensitised to the horror of what is going on around us, maybe there is fault in the way that the media sensationalises and portrays certain things but that still should not be a reason for us to stop caring about what happens in our world… and yes, it is OUR world. One which we are allowing to become a battleground festering with hate and malice, destruction and devastation. We can all make a difference simply by caring. Put yourself in the situation that these people have found themselves in. Not every person in a war zone is fighting that war. Sometimes I am ashamed to be a human being.”

Now I understand that opinions are like the proverbial and everybody has one and that we are all entitled to said opinions. In fact, we are all entitled to do and say exactly what we please as we have freedom of speech and we live is a so-called democratic society. Which leads me to the point of this article. I wonder frequently what it would be like to live in a society where one has no right to speak one’s mind. Where speaking out for what I believe in could lead to imprisonment or even worse. Where an opinion is the most dangerous thing that you could possibly live with. While I am one of the least aggressive people I know I am sure that I would find it very difficult to survive. At times I just can’t keep my opinions to myself and my mouth firmly zipped. This some may see as a lack of control. I myself feel that it is a display of great control, yes, I do have a modicum of control!

Recently someone very dear to me told me that they had never experienced racism until they came to Australia. Now from someone who is third generation Ethiopian of Italian ancestry who was educated in a German school and has travelled internationally that is an interesting statement and one I found quite horrifying and confronting. It gave me cause to think about how we Aussies refer to our beloved country in terms such as ‘the lucky country’ oh, and we are ‘multi-cultural’ also don’t forget. While I do not believe that we should dwell on the problems of the world for if we did we would all end up with severe cases of depression and PTSD and other similar disorders, I do believe that living in our so-called lucky country we have developed an apathy and for many a sense of superiority. A sense of ‘not my monkeys, not my circus’ and this I can understand – to a degree.

Let me ask you a few questions… what is the worst experience you have ever had in your life? How does thinking about that experience make you feel? How did that experience affect your life and how often are you confronted with that same experience in your day to day life? I understand that many of us have had unsavoury experiences and they have had dramatic effects on us and the way we live our lives but can you imagine living your whole life with similar or recurring incidents on a regular basis? For most that is a ridiculous scenario which would be scoffed at for we have the capacity and the opportunity here in our lucky country to extricate ourselves or we have services and organisations which will do it for us if we cannot do it ourselves. There are many countries in this world where this is not the case, imagine living there, trapped within the confines of a society which controls you to the point where you have no voice, no value whatsoever. Frightening isn’t it? In fact, for most of us it is impossible to truly grasp.

What can we do about it, you ask? Now once again this in entirely my opinion and I am sure that there are many out there who will take great delight in ridiculing it however I stand strong in my belief that we all have our parts to play on this stage of life. We can care about human life, wherever it originates from. Regardless of race, creed, religion, birthplace, we are all human beings, our lives are all of equal value. We can teach our children this. We can, as individuals not place judgement on others. There are ‘bad’ people everywhere, all over the world, including here in our country and let me tell you some of them are as Aussie as you and me. (I wonder though this is getting off the track, what has made that person ‘bad’, what has happened in their lives to influence them to do what they do. It is true that often the ‘bully’ is the one who needs our understanding… maybe the subject for another blog another time.)

There are many ways to care. Show another a simple kindness. It can be a wonderful experience to sit and talk with people from different backgrounds to ourselves. There is so much to learn from others. We can encourage others when they are unsure; share our thoughts our hopes our dreams… it may surprise you to learn that many of us have very similar aspirations. Replace discord with harmony. It may sound very simplistic but most times it is achievable even though it may take effort.

I cannot tell you how often I have heard someone start a comment with “I’m not racist but…” Really? I would think that the mere fact that you have to clarify that before making a statement signifies the very real possibility that what is about to come out of your mouth is most likely discriminatory and judgemental in some way. My thoughts immediately are “When you are perfect, then and only then do you have the right to judge”… and perfection is not possible so ultimately the right to judge is not yours or anyone else’s. Take a look in your own backyard. Never ever forget that the person that you are putting down or criticising has their own story. Just because their journey is different to yours does not mean that it is wrong. You do not have to take the person into your home, hell, you don’t even have to speak to them, just leave them to live their life just as you choose to be left to live yours! Allow them to be who they are without assuming you are superior. Focus your energies on improving what you can, without forcing others to come around to your way of thinking. Encourage positive interaction, there is strength in numbers. If more of us make a conscious choice to take a good hard look at our lives and our reassess some of our values and the way we treat others we can indeed make a difference.
I am very aware that I alone cannot stop the bombing in Syria, or the atrocities in New Guinea or other long forgotten and ignored places, no halt war in its steps, I alone cannot remove all traces of racism, hatred and discrimination but I am also aware that if I do not do my bit to bring and maintain peace in my immediate environment then I am, in my opinion, failing in my duty as a human being. Ultimately, I am sure that the majority will agree on one point, we all just want to live our lives in peace.

I wish you peaceful journeys until next time…

Indigo Wisdom (aka Trish)  ©

Black Dogs Bite

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I don’t want your sympathy as I battle the old black dog
though I’m not sure if you’re aware that I wander through this fog

There are those who understand for shadows stalk them too
they know that dreaded feeling that strikes out of the blue

In my mind I’m never worthy; self-esteem is low
as the light within struggles, just a pathetically feeble glow

No, I can’t just snap out of it as the intolerant urge
It doesn’t have a switch, it is something I must purge

Darkness will settle over me I feel as empty as a tomb
I’m not even sad in this hollow womb

Externally I function, day to day I still get by
live on automatic pilot without the strength to fly

I live here in my solitude untouchable, alone
I seek those who understand who call the same place home

It is a small part of me, does not my life define
a glitch in my makeup, a brush stroke gone awry

Life is about choices; at least this is what I am told
I choose love and warmth not this overwhelming cold

I do not choose depression or invite the black dogs bite
as those who do not live with it seem to think I might

I have learned to control it, to keep it locked up in its cage
though sometimes it defies me and engulfs me in its haze

It is difficult to describe it to one who has not ventured there
think of hollow, empty, numbness mixed in with despair

I do not wallow in it, regardless of what you think
inside it’s a constant struggle to pull back from the brink

If you see somebody struggling, please be tolerant and kind
or at least do not judge them harshly, offer well-meant advice

Remember you too have afflictions, imperfections of your own
rather than judge another it’s best to just leave them alone

Trish Johnston 18th July 2015