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Pacific Island Cruise – Day 1

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At last the long awaited day has arrived. Check the time on my phone… it’s 5.30am. I don’t need to be awake for another 20 minutes or so but in view of the fact that my sister, who only finished a late shift at around 11pm last night is in the room next door, I switch off the alarm so that it doesn’t wake her at 5.50am. Of course, this means that I now cant doze in case I go back to sleep!

After what seems like an eternity my clock creeps to 5.45. Okay, lets do this. Up, dressed and organised… what to do now while I wait for the rest of the household? Recheck that I have my passport… not that it would make much difference as if I don’t it is still 3.5 hours away at Port Augusta.

Eventually we are off to the airport. Put suitcase on the scale and of course it heavy, extract the laptop, which is an absolute essential of any trip I do. Fortunately Sam, my daughter and traveling companion has an almost empty backpack so it fits in there no problems. It is easy to see that Sam has experienced 5 months of backpacking through South and Central America. Just a glance at the difference in our luggage makes that very obvious. Her essentials are far more realistic than mine… they really are the essentials not the ‘oh I might need that…’ kind of essential.

The flight from Adelaide to Sydney was helped along by a very healthy tailwind, assisting us to arrive in Sydney 15 minutes before our expected arrival time. At least the sun is shining here even though it is still relatively cool. Upon arrival at the terminal it became apparent the vast number of people who would be sharing our cruise with us. People milling around everywhere. P&O representative handing out health questionnaires and customs declarations to be completed. Not one person mentioned what was actually required of us from that point. Eventually the crowd thinned enough for us to work out that we needed to line up for check in. I moved through the line quite quickly until I came to a lovely lady who informed me that I had been given the incorrect health questionnaire form and I would need to complete a new one prior to moving through the check in line. Back out to the milling crowd and complete the form ensure that Sam acquired the correct one and then back in the line again. Eventually we were through the check in process and then through customs. “Are you carrying in excess of $10,000 cash today, madam?” I wish!

At last we are on the ship. With great anticipation we wander through the corridors looking for our allotted accommodation. Of course, we are at the far end of the ship but then that is not a bad thing because it will be one way of ensuring daily exercise. We open the door and step inside a tiny cabin. Sam looks at me dismayed. “This is it, Mum. This is home for the next 10 days, it is going to drive us crazy.” It has everything it needs, 2 singles a comfy sitting chair, a desk and chair, a little table, a tv, a bedside cupboard with a lamp which is attached to the centre of the cupboard (we decided that it was a man who attached it as it is dead centre in the middle reducing the usable space to almost nothing). There is a bathroom with hand basin, shower and toilet and a closet and chest of drawers and a safe. Even a little fridge. Everything we could need!

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We decided then that it was time to go and sample the all you can eat area… hmmm unanimous decision, we’ll not be spending a lot of time in our tiny cabin. The choice of foods is quite extensive and delicious. After making the required booking at the Salt Grill restaurant we settle in for what I am sure will be the first of many cocktails. Time to settle in to one of my favourite past times… people watching. There are folks in all shapes and sizes, races and creeds, all ages… folks dressed up to the nines and others already in kick back holiday mode. It is getting cooler as the afternoon progresses. Once the compulsory safety briefing/induction is completed we settle back in for another cocktail and the ‘Sail Away’ party. Sailing out of Sydney Harbour under the Harbour Bridge was lovely.

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We decided once we were under way that we would explore a little and find out where things were situated. To one who has never cruised before walking around a ship in motion is rather like being drunk without the dizzying effects of alcohol. Maybe I won’t need to drink much at all this holiday, maybe all I’ll need to do is go for a walk occasionally!

After exploring for a while and locating most things that we wanted to know about and some that we didn’t we decided it was dinner time… back to the Pantry… all you can eat. Oh, this could be dangerous! A delicious dinner was quickly followed by returning to our cabin to settle in to bed for night. It was much too windy and cold up on the deck to stay out and both of us are rather weary.

A rather interesting night it is as the ship rolls with the ocean. I seem to spend a lot of time thinking how great it is that I am not feeling sea sick… maybe I should just go to sleep. Sam seems to have managed that quite well since putting her earplugs in after complaining that my tapping away at my keyboard is disturbing her.

 

Day 1 done and dusted…

When…

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When your tears become a river
Washing out to sea
She will shed hers too
Alone so you cannot see

When harsh darkness shrouds you
And with pain and anguish cower
She will hold back the shadows
In this your darkest hour

When you need a beacon
To light a pitch black path
She’ll be right there beside you
The light of love in her heart

When you are tired and weary
And the demons starts to rise
She will slay them for you
With the fury in her eyes

When you feel you are deserted
And that you face this world alone
She’ll reach out and take your hand
And guide you safely home

Trish Johnston © 31st August 2016

Letter from an empath

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I’m not sure if you believe in empaths but let me tell you a bit about this empath.
She feels (not just senses but FEELS) almost all of your emotions.
She hurts when you hurt.
She feels your withdrawal.
She feels when your spirits lift.
She feels your fear.
She understands your pain and uncertainty.
She spends weeks with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach… a fear, a desolation which is not hers to own.
She feels your feelings of failure, of anger against the hypocrisy and injustice you’ve been subjected to.
She knows when you have little energy or enthusiasm for life.
She knows how much you need her but are too numb or fearful to reach out.
She knows how little you trust yourself.
She knows also that you expect far more of yourself than she does.
When you cry, she cries.
When you laugh, she laughs.
She understands the need for solitude for she also seeks it.
She will work hard to protect herself however her sensitivity is the essence of who she is.
She is strong though vulnerable.
She will open herself to the possibility of excruciating pain.
She will love unconditionally on many levels.
She will not give up on something that she truly believes in.
She has a depth which others find disconcerting and uncomfortable.
She looks into your eyes and sees your soul.
She understands that what she sees before her is only superficial and skin deep there is so much more.
She feels the vibrations of the land.
She draws her energy from Nature, not people.
She hides her pain from others behind a smile.
She has accepted and is comfortable with who she is.
She accepts that her journey is her own.
She knows that others may judge her but that does not concern her.
She recognises others from her tribe.
She is not quick to trust, however, she has time for everyone.
She will shut others out when she is in need of rest… for however long this may be.
She lives her life from a place within her heart.
She shares her love with many but has only one true love.
She guards her heart with a ferocity of a lioness but when she gives it she give her all.

You may not believe in empaths, but I sure do for what I have just described is my life.

Peaceful journeys.

Filters, Fears and Frauds

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The wind is howling outside. It kind of suits my current mood, I am almost tempted to go out and stand in it with my arms held high and allow it to just cleanse me… blow over me and around me and take with it all the heaviness that seems to be taking up residence within. Maybe that is something I will do later, after I’ve purged my thoughts and allowed them to pour out onto the page before me in a rather confronting yet liberating gush.

You see, what really concerns me so much today is the way that filters seem to have taken over our lives. I despair at the fact that some many, especially women, in this time where the selfie has taken the world by storm, seem to find it necessary to use filters in their photographs. Are we, as a society becoming so obsessed with ‘perfection’ that we cannot accept ourselves as we really are, warts and all? There are so many apps out there these days that enhance the eyes, smooth the wrinkles, remove the blemishes, even change the shape of the face and the body. The question I ask is WHY? Why do we consider it necessary to do this?

Now I know that I am no oil painting. I am well aware that my skin is no longer as fresh and youthful as it once was, wrinkles are starting to make their presence felt along with those peculiar little formations that seem to be referred to as ‘age spots’. I have surrendered to the white which took up residence in my hair more years ago than I care to acknowledge. My body tells the tale of a couple of pregnancies and births and also genetics and throw into the mix an inherent lack of exercise. All in all, at 53 I am as far from perfect as any of us, even more so than some. However, for all my insecurities and imperfections I am very pleased to say that I do not feel the need to hide behind a filter. I may choose not to point the lens in my direction very often but I refuse to use a filter or photoshop to enhance what I look like.

Since when did it become the trend to have to cover up the wrinkles and the signs that we have lived a life which may or may not have taken its toll upon us as much physically as it has done mentally and emotionally? Who said that blemishes were unacceptable? Why should anyone, young or old feel it is necessary to smooth out the wrinkles and remove the blemishes on their skin? Me I see these things as one’s own uniqueness, their proverbial fingerprint. The wrinkles were hard earned through the trials and tribulations of life, or even, in the case of laugh lines the joys and celebrations of life. I look at photos of many young women today and see so many generic faces. The use of the filters and editing has taken away the beauty of their individuality.

How I wish that the superficial obsession with this physical perfection would be gone from our lives. We are very much in danger of losing sight of reality. Take a browse through any social media or internet site. You will see photographs of stunning landscapes, sunsets, sunrises, of almost anything in fact, which have been manipulated and altered, or as some prefer to call it ‘enhanced’. How can people claim this to be photography in its true sense? Photographic art maybe but certainly not photography in its purest form. This day of digital media is, for many, fast negating the pleasure in what we are surrounded with on a day to day basis. Some sunsets just are not as spectacular as others. Does this make them less appreciated, less peaceful, less soothing? Some flowers have a soft and delicate colour as opposed to others which are vibrant and strong, does this make them less beautiful?

I wonder how many ‘photographers’ today actually get their results through the lens rather than their pcs. How many really know how to use the light properly to allow nature to enhance and enchant in her own way. I certainly do not claim nor profess to be a photographer. As any of my family and friends will tell you I do love to take photos but I try so very hard to capture a moment, a glimpse of something which to me is beautiful. Most of the photos that I use to illustrate my writing is my own work, not because I think I am particularly good at it but because to me there is beauty in even the barest landscape, even the most bland and colourless flower… because they are real! My knowledge of editing programs is minimal, mostly restricted to cropping and adding text. Occasionally I will enhance a photo but when I do I always ensure that I keep the original or that I do it in such a way that people will be fully aware that it has been altered. I do not sit in judgment of those who use editing programs, I do however mourn the loss of our appreciation of reality.

We live in such fraudulent times, where fear of being ordinary and original seems to drive so many to live through filters to create illusions. I just hope that we never lose sight of the fact that true beauty comes from within, from the essence, whether it be in humans or in nature.

Peaceful journeys,

Indigo

Intelligence – how do you perceive it?

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Intelligence – what does it mean to you? I enjoy intelligent conversations but then what I class as intelligent conversation may not be your idea of the same.  I am not highly educated.  I do not have an overly extensive vocabulary. Does this equate to lack of intelligence on my part?  Some may deem it so, however I do not measure intelligence on one’s level of education nor on their use of high falutin words, or their knowledge of world events or other cultures or politics such as this.

I personally see intelligence as one’s ability to embrace all they can, to be open to every experience whether it be ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  It is about having an opinion or a point of view while allowing others to have theirs and listening to those opinions with an open mind and appreciating and respecting them for what they are.  We do not have to agree with one another to have intelligent conversation nor do we have to refute, merely to listen and respond.

I have had some wonderful conversations with people with no formal education, people who simply speak from their hearts, sometimes a little timidly, sometimes with great passion.  What makes these conversations intelligent to me is the fact that these people know their truth. They know their feelings and their words don’t come from another persons mind but straight from within.  Intelligence is not one’s ability to recite another’s teachings it is about one’s ability to know what they feel and to express this to honour the existence of these thoughts, ideas and concepts.

I recently had a conversation with someone who inferred I was not as intelligent as he because I had not travelled extensively; he questioned my interest in other cultures because I did not watch foreign films.  Since when does one’s intelligence align with one’s bank account or work opportunities?  Since when has watching films spoken in a language I cannot understand been a measure of my ability to use my mind?

Some one else who I consider to be very intelligent because of the stimulating heartfelt conversations we have considers me more intelligent than them because I am able to express myself through my writing.  This is not intelligence, this a merely my tool to express my intelligence; my tool to express my thoughts and ideals.  So I have the gift of the gab and my amazing friend is not so fortunate (or unfortunate as some may say!) to have this same ability.  We are both intelligent human beings, we just utilise this intelligence differently.

I have had some dreadfully boring conversations with highly intellectual beings who perceive themselves to be experts or near enough in some fields. Most of these people have not learned learned through experience, they have often developed almost tunnel vision in their pursuit of their holy grail. To be spoken to with condescension by another person reveals much more about them than it does about me. Does their lack of tolerance and ability to communicate with in an ordinary everyday conversation make them intelligent… I think not, however you are entitled to your own belief in this as you are in everything.

Intelligence, what is it to me?  It is the ability to be yourself and allow others to be who they are and still encourage and enjoy open and honest communication.  What does it mean to you?

‘Til next time… peaceful journeys

Vulnerability

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Today I’m feeling vulnerable.  Why?  I really do not know.  What is different today from yesterday or last week?  Nothing.  I have the same people in my life.  As far as I know they feel the same way about me as they did then, but today, inside me there is this awful gnawing doubt. Doubt about almost everything in my life.  I know what it is that is causing this.  The black dog is baring its ugly teeth again.  There is no rhyme or reason why.  It just sneaks up and pounces when least expected.

 I wonder why today of all days?  Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  I have two beautiful children and a daughter in law and was fortunate enough to have spent time with all of them during the day.  I had a lovely phone call with my own mother (something I know I don’t do often enough!).  I have everything in the world to smile about.

There is a Universal energy which vibrates through us all in waves.  Rolling over and through us.  Many are totally unaware of it happening. Others who are more sensitive to it feel it.  Some resist it and others go with it and ride the waves just as a though floating in the surf.  When I start to feel vulnerable and weak I am aware that I have to just let go and ride those waves.  There are things I have been resisting which are dragging against me like I am caught in a rip in the ocean.  No matter how much I struggle I will never make my way clear.  Maybe it is time to meditate on that ocean and let the ebb and flow clear away the negative vibrations and bring me back into balance…

 Peaceful journeys…

It’s NOT all about you! Is it?

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One thing I see constantly in my healing practice is people who constantly battle with the image they portray to others.  My response to them is usually along the lines of “Does it really matter?”  For many years I, as most people do, lived my life fitting into what I thought were the boxes I was meant to be in.  The ones that ‘fitted’ with where I was in my life at that time… the wife, the work colleague, the mother, the daughter, the sibling, the friend and so the list goes on.  I strived to be as ‘perfect’ as I could be in each situation and in doing so I created a reality for myself which became more and more of a battle each day. You see, what I never really understood is that it is not all about me!  In the words of the late Wayne Dyer “What other people think of me is none of my business”.

How others act or behave is a reflection of them and their stories.  We do not have to make it all about us.  If someone is hurtful towards us most often it is because they have unresolved issues around the situation.  When they feel the need to lash out or to undermine or control another it is usually because of their own insecurities in themselves.  There own limiting beliefs create their reality and they are attempting to project that reality on to those around them.  When we accept that reality and react as they want us to react we are then allowing ourselves to take on their issues.  Most of the time we are totally unaware that we are doing this. However, in doing so we are perceiving it to be all about us.

Many years of soul searching have taught me that all those cliches that roll off people’s tongues so easily really do make sense, however, it is not until you have accepted yourself that you are able to actually see that those who are the most negative in our lives are in fact the ones who need the greatest understanding and tolerance.  When I say this I do not mean that we have to tolerate their behaviour, it is entirely up to us whether we react to hurtful behaviour with hurtful behaviour or whether we chose to not become a part of that scenario.  If we are truly not making it all about us, we can see that there is something more behind this behaviour than someone wanting to hurt us…in fact it is usually more that that person is hurting themselves.  When we choose to react negatively we are validating their negative behaviour.  If we choose to not take part in it we are in fact not validating it and therefore it has no power over us.

Some years ago I and some friends were fortunate enough to meet a young gentleman from Rwanda whose family had been through the most painful and unimaginable times of genocide.  With what this young man had experienced he would well have been justified in being a ‘victim’, in hating the enemy.  However, his purpose in travelling in Australia was to teach people that the only way to stop these atrocities occurring is by loving and forgiving others.  He could well have made this dreadful story all about him, instead he made it about being an instrument of peace for the betterment of all.  I learned so much from the short time spent with young Yanik. Not least of which was… it is not all about me, unless I choose to make it that way and if I that is my choice I then have to live with the consequences.

Progress? Change? Or just simply life?

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Ever had that feeling that there is so much more to life than what you are currently doing?  It is something that I experience from time to time and it has only been in recent years that I have started to honour it.  I have had many ‘wise’ people tell me that ‘one day you will have to stop running away’.  It used to make me stop and doubt my inner feelings, make me wonder what exactly it is that I am ‘running away’ from.  These days I no longer listen to these helpful folk.  I know that what is within me is my ultimate guide. My wisdom comes from within and while there are times that I allow fear to dictate I know that I will find peace once I let go of that fear and do what feels right to me.

I do not feel that I am running from something, nor do I feel that I am constantly searching as others sometimes tell me I am doing.  Searching implies that I’ve lost something.  I certainly do not feel that I’ve lost anything, rather that each and every time I make another life choice I am growing and evolving on many different levels.

Several years ago I became the proud owner of a beautiful website.  A wonderfully patient friend produced some stunning art work for the site. The site was to showcase not only my healing modalities – Kinesiology, Reiki, Massage, Spiritual Guidance but to allow me to share my writing with the great big wide world.  At first, like most people I was very enthusiastic and posted regularly.  Then gradually I allowed the demands of life as it was then to change my focus.  Eventually I forgot how to even log on to manage the site so I allowed it to go where so many other websites go, that graveyard in cyber space!

Recently I had the urge to start up my website again.  In the intervening years from when I began my first site and now I have had so many experiences, some of which were painful, some of which were very extremely enjoyable, all of which culminated in the realisation that within me there is the soul of a gypsy, a wanderer, a free spirit.

As I progressed along my path experiencing life, I wrote many poems on so many different topics.  At times my emotions poured out through my keyboard, raw and revealing.  Some who are close to me find it too difficult to read about the darkness and anguish that plagued my life (or maybe they just really don’t enjoy my writing!!) but there were others, usually strangers who contacted me, telling me how moved they are to at last have found someone who could put into words the emotions that they themselves had been feeling but were unable to verbalise.  What a wonderful revelation that was to me.  To be seen as a ‘voice’ for the expression of the deepest feelings of not only myself but of so many others is an honour beyond all others.  Just as I consider it an honour to have an individual come to me for physical, hands on healing of one modality or another; to experience the level of trust that people place in me is truly humbling.

I have long been aware that my life purpose is healing.  There is nothing that gives me more pleasure than to be involved in the healing process of another, to facilitate the healing and hopefully sharing with them the tools which will allow them to take their own healing to another level.

Recently I have been experiencing many aches and pains throughout my body.  Of course, being in my early 50’s I was prepared to accept that age was catching up with me and that the dreaded arthritis was invading my joints.  Off to the doctor I went and fortunately he decided to send me to a specialist.  The specialist had no real opinion to offer one way or the other but did arrange for me to have almost every bloody test known to man.  After having 9 phials of blood taken for goodness only knows how many tests I eventually received the call from my doctor asking me to come in and discuss my results.  Guess what?  The results revealed that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me!  No signs of arthritis in any way shape for form. Xrays also returned with nothing visible. So what is this mystery illness?  Why am I experiencing pain daily, almost constantly?   My health according to science is extremely good.

The idea has been filtering down to me in various ways for a while now that maybe I am not doing what it is that I was put on this earth to do.  How can this be so?  I am a healer and for the past year or so that is what I have been doing.  I have my own little business with a wonderful client base, I have been living my dream. How can I not be doing what I am meant to be doing?  

I have just returned from a week in Rotorua, New Zealand.  The trip literally fell into my lap and was totally unexpected.  I invited a girl friend to join me and away we went.  I do not believe in coincidence, my belief is that the Universe lays things out before us and it is up to us to either recognise the synchronicity or go on ignoring the signs.  Whilst in the wonderful Rotorua I attempted to make appointments to see local ‘spiritual healers’ in the hope that they may have some revelations for me.  I was unable to lock down appointments for various reasons so I decided to just book into a spa for a 30 minute massage while my friend had a treatment.  Thank you Universe!  Here, in the surrounds of this very lovely but quite commercial spa I found my spiritual healer.  She took one look at me when I walked into the treatment room and started lecturing me.  Why am I carrying so much pain belonging to others?  Do I not realise that the pain I am experiencing is not my own but that of my clients and most likely many others as well?  Of course, being a spiritual person I am fully aware that this is one of the dangers of being an empath and a healer.  We had a lovely discussion and the beautiful Marji massaged away the pain and the weight of what I had been carting around with me believing to be my own.

Also during the trip my friend received an email from her publisher with suggested cover designs and type fonts to choose from for her soon to be published novella.  It was so special to share this exciting time with her.  I know how much writing means to her as it is a passion we have shared since meeting.  As we sat and talked late into the night for many nights on our holiday we spoke of our dreams and explored possibilities of what might lay ahead for each of us.  At one stage I found myself telling her that she had no need to pursue a career in healing as her particular healing gift was in her ability to write.  Hello? Where did those words come from and were they only for her?  

A culmination of so many things which have occurred in the past couple of months has given me the awareness that my focus must return to my writing.  My healing does not have to be only in the form of getting people up on the table in my little clinic and soothing away their woes.  My healing can and will be also through my words, my ability to express from my heart whether I am writing of my own experiences or others.  How many times does a light bulb have to go off before I listen to my inner self and do what I am truly deeply passionate about?  Yes, I love my little clinic but it does not have to be my only focus.  I must embrace ALL that I am, allow my words to flow and trust that those they are meant to reach will through one channel or another find them when they will do most good.

So, is this progress?  Is this change?  Or is this just simply life and the Universe leading me to my ultimate Utopia?  Keep an eye on http://www.indigowisdom.com.au to see where this journey goes.

Until next time, which I am expecting to be real soon!

Take care,

Indigo (aka Trish)