Ever had that feeling that there is so much more to life than what you are currently doing?  It is something that I experience from time to time and it has only been in recent years that I have started to honour it.  I have had many ‘wise’ people tell me that ‘one day you will have to stop running away’.  It used to make me stop and doubt my inner feelings, make me wonder what exactly it is that I am ‘running away’ from.  These days I no longer listen to these helpful folk.  I know that what is within me is my ultimate guide. My wisdom comes from within and while there are times that I allow fear to dictate I know that I will find peace once I let go of that fear and do what feels right to me.

I do not feel that I am running from something, nor do I feel that I am constantly searching as others sometimes tell me I am doing.  Searching implies that I’ve lost something.  I certainly do not feel that I’ve lost anything, rather that each and every time I make another life choice I am growing and evolving on many different levels.

Several years ago I became the proud owner of a beautiful website.  A wonderfully patient friend produced some stunning art work for the site. The site was to showcase not only my healing modalities – Kinesiology, Reiki, Massage, Spiritual Guidance but to allow me to share my writing with the great big wide world.  At first, like most people I was very enthusiastic and posted regularly.  Then gradually I allowed the demands of life as it was then to change my focus.  Eventually I forgot how to even log on to manage the site so I allowed it to go where so many other websites go, that graveyard in cyber space!

Recently I had the urge to start up my website again.  In the intervening years from when I began my first site and now I have had so many experiences, some of which were painful, some of which were very extremely enjoyable, all of which culminated in the realisation that within me there is the soul of a gypsy, a wanderer, a free spirit.

As I progressed along my path experiencing life, I wrote many poems on so many different topics.  At times my emotions poured out through my keyboard, raw and revealing.  Some who are close to me find it too difficult to read about the darkness and anguish that plagued my life (or maybe they just really don’t enjoy my writing!!) but there were others, usually strangers who contacted me, telling me how moved they are to at last have found someone who could put into words the emotions that they themselves had been feeling but were unable to verbalise.  What a wonderful revelation that was to me.  To be seen as a ‘voice’ for the expression of the deepest feelings of not only myself but of so many others is an honour beyond all others.  Just as I consider it an honour to have an individual come to me for physical, hands on healing of one modality or another; to experience the level of trust that people place in me is truly humbling.

I have long been aware that my life purpose is healing.  There is nothing that gives me more pleasure than to be involved in the healing process of another, to facilitate the healing and hopefully sharing with them the tools which will allow them to take their own healing to another level.

Recently I have been experiencing many aches and pains throughout my body.  Of course, being in my early 50’s I was prepared to accept that age was catching up with me and that the dreaded arthritis was invading my joints.  Off to the doctor I went and fortunately he decided to send me to a specialist.  The specialist had no real opinion to offer one way or the other but did arrange for me to have almost every bloody test known to man.  After having 9 phials of blood taken for goodness only knows how many tests I eventually received the call from my doctor asking me to come in and discuss my results.  Guess what?  The results revealed that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me!  No signs of arthritis in any way shape for form. Xrays also returned with nothing visible. So what is this mystery illness?  Why am I experiencing pain daily, almost constantly?   My health according to science is extremely good.

The idea has been filtering down to me in various ways for a while now that maybe I am not doing what it is that I was put on this earth to do.  How can this be so?  I am a healer and for the past year or so that is what I have been doing.  I have my own little business with a wonderful client base, I have been living my dream. How can I not be doing what I am meant to be doing?  

I have just returned from a week in Rotorua, New Zealand.  The trip literally fell into my lap and was totally unexpected.  I invited a girl friend to join me and away we went.  I do not believe in coincidence, my belief is that the Universe lays things out before us and it is up to us to either recognise the synchronicity or go on ignoring the signs.  Whilst in the wonderful Rotorua I attempted to make appointments to see local ‘spiritual healers’ in the hope that they may have some revelations for me.  I was unable to lock down appointments for various reasons so I decided to just book into a spa for a 30 minute massage while my friend had a treatment.  Thank you Universe!  Here, in the surrounds of this very lovely but quite commercial spa I found my spiritual healer.  She took one look at me when I walked into the treatment room and started lecturing me.  Why am I carrying so much pain belonging to others?  Do I not realise that the pain I am experiencing is not my own but that of my clients and most likely many others as well?  Of course, being a spiritual person I am fully aware that this is one of the dangers of being an empath and a healer.  We had a lovely discussion and the beautiful Marji massaged away the pain and the weight of what I had been carting around with me believing to be my own.

Also during the trip my friend received an email from her publisher with suggested cover designs and type fonts to choose from for her soon to be published novella.  It was so special to share this exciting time with her.  I know how much writing means to her as it is a passion we have shared since meeting.  As we sat and talked late into the night for many nights on our holiday we spoke of our dreams and explored possibilities of what might lay ahead for each of us.  At one stage I found myself telling her that she had no need to pursue a career in healing as her particular healing gift was in her ability to write.  Hello? Where did those words come from and were they only for her?  

A culmination of so many things which have occurred in the past couple of months has given me the awareness that my focus must return to my writing.  My healing does not have to be only in the form of getting people up on the table in my little clinic and soothing away their woes.  My healing can and will be also through my words, my ability to express from my heart whether I am writing of my own experiences or others.  How many times does a light bulb have to go off before I listen to my inner self and do what I am truly deeply passionate about?  Yes, I love my little clinic but it does not have to be my only focus.  I must embrace ALL that I am, allow my words to flow and trust that those they are meant to reach will through one channel or another find them when they will do most good.

So, is this progress?  Is this change?  Or is this just simply life and the Universe leading me to my ultimate Utopia?  Keep an eye on http://www.indigowisdom.com.au to see where this journey goes.

Until next time, which I am expecting to be real soon!

Take care,

Indigo (aka Trish)