Living in the Moment

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There’s a joy in living
That we don’t always see
Sweet and precious moments
That set your spirit free

Awaking to a new day
Knowing it’s just the start
Of the rest of your life
And yesterday is past

Put this day to good use
Live it, don’t pretend
Be right here in this moment
And your joy will never end

Trish Johnston 10th November 2015

Black Dogs Bite

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I don’t want your sympathy as I battle the old black dog
though I’m not sure if you’re aware that I wander through this fog

There are those who understand for shadows stalk them too
they know that dreaded feeling that strikes out of the blue

In my mind I’m never worthy; self-esteem is low
as the light within struggles, just a pathetically feeble glow

No, I can’t just snap out of it as the intolerant urge
It doesn’t have a switch, it is something I must purge

Darkness will settle over me I feel as empty as a tomb
I’m not even sad in this hollow womb

Externally I function, day to day I still get by
live on automatic pilot without the strength to fly

I live here in my solitude untouchable, alone
I seek those who understand who call the same place home

It is a small part of me, does not my life define
a glitch in my makeup, a brush stroke gone awry

Life is about choices; at least this is what I am told
I choose love and warmth not this overwhelming cold

I do not choose depression or invite the black dogs bite
as those who do not live with it seem to think I might

I have learned to control it, to keep it locked up in its cage
though sometimes it defies me and engulfs me in its haze

It is difficult to describe it to one who has not ventured there
think of hollow, empty, numbness mixed in with despair

I do not wallow in it, regardless of what you think
inside it’s a constant struggle to pull back from the brink

If you see somebody struggling, please be tolerant and kind
or at least do not judge them harshly, offer well-meant advice

Remember you too have afflictions, imperfections of your own
rather than judge another it’s best to just leave them alone

Trish Johnston 18th July 2015

The Flame of Death

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You walk into the fires of hell
As though drawn into a trance
Seduced by the flickering flame
By its alluring dance

You die there in that flame
Your body crumples in a heap
Your soul rises up above you
You are the phoenix, at your peak

As you rise up from the ashes
And fly high over the flames
You are reborn, rejuvenated
To embrace life once again

You’ve shed the pain of yesterday
You’ve left it there as ash
To disappear forever
Awaiting the breeze to catch

The wind will scatter your yesterdays
And they’ll be so thinly spread
That they’ll never reassemble
Not even inside your head

On the far side of the flame
You will sway to the dance of life
You will welcome your tomorrows
With reborn untold delight

Trish Johnston 25th June 2015

Hollow Log

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I sit here on a hollow log
once a majestic tree
at peace with my surroundings
I close my eyes and breathe

Her scent fills my body
sating the hunger within
the trees, the grass, the flowers
the earth from which they spring

I feel the spirits lift me
I’m a body no more
my soul has been set free
allowing me to soar

I see all the creatures
both the big and the small
going about their daily lives
I hear their distant calls

The trees whisper their secrets
I hang on every word
at one with all of nature
I have so much to learn

I see her true beauty
different stages different zones
many levels within
Maiden Mother Crone

I soak in her essence
allow it to integrate
the wisdom that she offers
in gratitude I take

I return now to my hollow log
at peace and so alive
ever grateful for healing
Mother Nature provides.

Trish Johnston 14th June 2015

Machu Picchu

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Machu Picchu

Will we ever know your secrets
Truly know how you came to be
There are so many theories
So many experts have been to see

So intriguing is your existence
Many visit you
In your place of isolation
Beauty surrounding you

The mysteries of the past
All hidden within your walls
Pieces of the puzzled
By which so many are enthralled

How I’d love to join these seekers
In a trek upon your soil
To really absorb your energy
And secrets of your toil

One could never be the same
After walking in your midst
Taking in your essence
And your crumbling elegance

To stand there on the parapet
And gaze upon your ruins
The finely terraced lands
Drawing me to become attuned

Amazing incredible feelings
I have inside me as I wish
That I could visit you
And share in your hidden bliss

Trish Johnston 7th March 2011

Choices….

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In each step of our journey
the choice is ours to make
to decide upon a path
a direction to take

There is no right or wrong
no correct or incorrect
though each choice we make
has a lasting effect

Choices make life interesting
yet can be challenging too
for who knows the final outcome
of the choice you choose

When that which seemed most fitting
begins to disintegrate
do we choose to stay and fight
or walk away and shut the gate

When confidence is shaken
right to the very core
when self belief is fading
like the tide upon the shore

We must choose our battles wisely
draw on our inner strength
to help us to decide
on each paths length

Which battle do we stick with
through rain, hail and snow
when do we raise the flag
and surrender to the flow

The answers lay within us
in the wisdom of our souls
we must trust those inner voices
to carry us safely home.

Trish Johnston 11th May 2015

Cliché or True Wisdom?

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How often do we hear clichés bandied about with such abandon that our minds switch off to their true meanings?  So many wise words are used with such frequency and so inappropriately that to many they become worthless clutter in our minds.  I have come to realise that there is so much wisdom behind so many sayings when they are used in the correct context and when the timing is right.

For many years people have thrust quotes upon me with the enthusiasm of fanatics at a protest march.  So emphatically were they shared with me that often they left me feeling deeply inadequate because I had not reached the goal referred to in the quote.  I would agree wholeheartedly and then crawl away to lick my wounds and assure myself that one day I would reach that place of such freedom that I too could share such wisdom with others.  One day I too would be in a position where I could become a superior being who had attained the state of euphoria which came from letting go, forgiving, loving myself so as to allow others to do so as well, accepting perfection for what it is, etc.

Interestingly as I have moved along my path, sometimes with assistance, most of the time alone, I experienced a settling calm within me.  I have learned to let go of the things that weighed me down and fogged my mind; I have learned that in forgiving myself I have indeed simultaneously forgiven others; I have learned that the person who needs my love and respect most is myself and in giving myself this gift I am much better equipped to love and respect others also.  When I say ‘love and respect others’ I mean that I can now allow others to be who they are.  I have learned that while I do not have to like a person the most important gift I can give them is to respect that they are who they are and allow them to live as they choose to live.  While their choices may not be the same as mine they have a right to make those choices just as I do.

So many times I have been told that when the time is right things will unfold.  Absolutely, I could not agree more! However, what often is omitted here is that we have to have enough courage to believe in ourselves and what it is that we want.  We have to trust in ourselves, listen to our inner voices and filter out what is the residue of others thoughts and opinions (because after all everyone has an opinion and most are only too happy to share it!) and be strong enough to be true to ourselves.  Yes, when the timing is right things will unfold, but it also takes a little effort on your part.  Don’t just sit back and wait for things to happen, for the Universe, or God or whoever you believe in to hand it to you on a gold trimmed platter.  Make some conscious decisions, take charge of your own thoughts, and ignore the well-meant advice of others.  We must remember that no matter how much someone wants to help us they can only give us thoughts from their own perspective.  Only you can see, think and feel things from your own perspective, therefore only you can know what it is that is your truth.

The funny part is that now that I have actually made it to this place where I really do love myself, the person I really am, I have no desire to spruik the clichés.  Yes, there are times when I do use them, apologetically mostly.  The real truth of it has struck me in recent times.  The absolute wonder of becoming my own person with my own thoughts and my own feelings capable of making my own choices astounds me with its simplicity.  The truth is that once you love and accept yourself you have no need to feel in any way superior.  The liberation that comes with non-judgement is what creates our inner peace.  It is called compassion.

Next time someone throws a line out to you, before you grasp it look closely and ascertain if it is in the form of a cliché from another’s ego or wisdom from another’s heart then decide what you choose to do with it.

Until next time….