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An Introvert’s night on the town…

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I wonder how many people truly understand what it is to be an introvert? How many confuse a person who is an introvert with a person who lacks of confidence? You see, I feel that in most areas in life I am a reasonably confident person. Public speaking? Sure no problems, as long as I know my subject I am fine to stand up and talk in front of an audience. With my work, sure I am confident that I know my stuff and that I am capable of obtaining the required outcomes. Put me in a position where I feel that I, or another, needs defending and I will not hesitate to speak up. In a nutshell I don’t feel that confidence or lack thereof is a real issue to me. However…

Today I travelled by bus from my home town to the beautiful city of Adelaide. At present I am sitting in my hotel room enjoying a lovely view which is only going to get more breath taking as the sun sinks over the ocean in the west. I am here for family reasons and may or may not be required to stay again tomorrow night as well. If I stay tomorrow night I will have family with me, for tonight I am alone… and that is how I choose to be. Yes, I have friends here from when I lived and worked in the city and yes, I am sure that some of them will be disappointed that I have not let them know that I am here but I choose to be alone. This is not about being antisocial, it is not about lacking confidence but about the fact that I just want to have this experience on my own.

The hotel I am staying is has a lovely bar which I could be in right now partaking in happy hour with other guests. Instead I chose to take a walk and when I discovered a bottle shop I decided to by my own drinks and come back to my room. (As an aside to this I recall how once several years ago my daughter said to me “Mum, you know you shouldn’t drink alone.” To which I responded “Well, darling if I didn’t drink alone I would never drink!”) I now sit here in my room enjoying one of my favourite pastimes, writing, and a beverage all by myself… and the key word is here is enjoying. The drink is not necessary, the time alone however is. Why necessary you may ask when I spend so much time alone at home anyway. You see I spend time alone because that is my choice.

I have learned as I have progressed through life that most things in life are choices. We can choose to live our lives as we want or we can live it according to how others perceive we should. The older I get the more I understand that it is perfectly okay for me to just be me and live how I choose to live. Indeed my choices, just as anyone else’s, are not without consequence and I am prepared to accept that also. Yes, sometimes I do get lonely. Though I do agree that it is far worse to be lonely in a room full of people than it is to be alone.

I attempted to explain to someone the other day how crowds did not concern me greatly as most of the time I am able to shield myself to feel insulated from them. This is difficult to explain though I do find that if I don’t shield myself I feel so drained by the time I am home that I never want to walk outside again. In reality I believe that I absorb so much of the energy of others that I end up with so many warring thoughts and feelings that it just leaves me exhausted, emotionally and physically.

Also, I have no need for small talk. I am able to do so and chat when necessary however I would much prefer to either have an earnest, in-depth conversation or to simply sit in silence. While some may think that I have the gift of the gab I personally believe that it is a true gift of enjoying silence. I admire truly flamboyant people however I do not choose to be one. If I ask a question most times it is because I have a genuine interest in the response, I do not ask simply to destroy a moment of blessed silence with idle chatter. Besides, moments of silence with the right person can be every bit as rewarding as conversation!

I am not sure if I am adequately describing my perception of an introvert to you though what I do ask of you is that while you may enjoy chatting and you may find it exhilarating to be in the company of others, not everyone feels the same. For some of us the only way for us to recharge is to spend time alone. To me this is what an introvert is. Not necessarily someone who lacks confidence, some of us can be perfectly capable of communicating and interacting with others, we just don’t need others to make us feel alive. This is no criticism whatsoever of those who enjoy company and crowds and feed off a group environment, we are all individuals and for every introvert there is also an extrovert. I, for one, would much prefer the tranquillity of the bush than most social interactions. To some I may be far too intense, to me it is about being true to myself and in doing so attracting those people to me who truly understand.

Rydges West

There is a restaurant in the hotel as well. I am pretty sure that I will enjoy the food I brought from home instead but who knows, by dinner time I might just choose to order room service while I have another drink and sit on my balcony awaiting the sunset with my faithful companions – me, myself and I.

Peaceful journeys,

Indigo aka Trish

Police… they are there to serve. Allow them to do their jobs.

Police… they are there to serve. Allow them to do their jobs.

Over the past few days I have seen so many different posts on social media ranting and raving about the police and how they are becoming Nazi like and doing nothing more than revenue raising. As a so called ‘victim’ of this latest activity I thought I would lend my voice in support of the police and the job that they do.

Yes, on my way out to Port Augusta on Christmas Eve I received my first ever traffic infringement notice. I was speeding and I got caught. It serves me right. At the age of 51 I know that I have been very fortunate to go this long without ever being caught before. I also know that I am very fortunate not to have had an accident in which either I or others have been injured.

Rules are put in place for a reason and when it comes to our roads and our personal safety it is the police who are there to enforce those rules.

I worked for a time in an administrative support role for the Qld Police. During this time it never ceased to amaze me just how thick skinned these wonderful men and women had to be. The vast majority of people treat police officers with the same respect and fellowship that they treat any person. There are however, those people who seem to have an inbred dislike for any form of authority, police especially. They can and do behave in ways that your average Joe Blow on the street would find offensive and often feel the need to retaliate to. The police though must show measures of restraint where the general public are concerned. In my experience these same people who issued infringement notices for whatever reason are also the ones that are expected to deal with the results of the offences that the laws are there to prevent. More often than not the people who treated the police with total disrespect are the first ones to call upon them for assistance when things go wrong. I saw this happen and I have to say that I was never anything but impressed by the professionalism and empathy with which the police officers reacted.

Social media has become a way in which people express their opinions about many things and I am only too happy to support freedom of speech and the right to have our own individual thoughts and feelings on any topic we chose to consider. I just wonder how many people actually stop to think before they “speak” in such an open forum.

I saw one post which was ranting about a man being fined for leaving the window down in his car. The picture that accompanied the rant was of a young man holding up his infringement notice in front of the offending window. Many people were commenting on how ridiculous it was and how it was ‘obviously’ revenue raising. I wonder would the comments have been the same if he had been posting a ‘Stolen’ notice? Obviously not.

As for traffic infringements – don’t get me started. As a member of the local Ambulance Committee and an active member of the State Emergency Service I saw (thankfully not too often) results of these laws being flaunted.

It is far too easy to become desensitised to the grief, trauma and loss that accompanies road accidents when we see it on the news night after night. Usually a fleeting moment of emotion and that is the last we think of it. Not so for those poor police officers and other emergency service personnel who have to go about their job as professionals. How many people actually spare a thought for the police officer who has to knock on someone’s door and deliver the worst possible news to loved ones? Or have to go to an accident in a small community fully aware that it could well be someone with whom they shared a meal or a joke the day before.

I am aware that mine is a very small voice, however I do ask that people at least stop to consider all sides of a situation before they over react and start vilifying others and their professions. Police are there to ‘serve the people’ and that is what they do.

To the men and women in blue (or khaki or whatever colour you wear) I raise my hat to you. You have my deepest respect for putting your life on the line each and every time you kiss your families as you walk out the door. I can only say that I am honoured to call some of you my friends.