“Worry is a terrible thing; like having another person in your head.” ~ taken from Ten Weeks in Africa written by J M Shaw.

These words jumped off the page at me this morning. I indicated in my last blog that next I would share my thoughts on fear. The quote above has prompted me to do so today. I am including in this an article, for want of a better word, which I ‘channelled’ in 2009. I share it with you exactly as it came to me:

“Fear; the most consuming emotion in the human spectrum. Fear is the greatest block that a human will have to deal with and deal with it you must. It must be confronted, defeated and diminished to a level that allows you to live wisely, trusting your intuition to guide you instead of the fear that constantly holds you back.

Fear leads to a great lack of self-worth. It holds your heart in a tight fist, allowing no growth, keeping it constricted, unable to function in the most fundamental manner of giving and receiving.

Some believe that it is easier to live in fear than it is to defeat the cause of their pain. These are the ones who are unable to experience the joy in life, the sweetness of true acceptance and love. Much of the dis-ease on Earth today can be attributed to fear. Your physical bodies hold within the pain that comes from fear, it lodges in an area of weakness, growing and manifesting into illness. To cure many of your Earthly diseases the first step should be to address the emotionally crippling fear from which the illness arose.

Addictions are a direct result of one feeling unable to face fear and turning to a substance that for a time appears to offer an escape from the pain and uncertainty in life. What the addict fails to acknowledge is that the paranoia brought on by the altered state is no more desirable or beneficial than that which is driving the addiction. Alcohol and drugs are mere masks offering no solutions.

Fear of living in your true power leads to a misuse of your personal power. To be a powerful person is to be one who has self-love, the love of and for fellow man. While this may seem a simplistic view it is all that is necessary to overcome the negatives. A misuse of power is due to fear and insecurity in oneself and one’s ability to perform a given task. A bully lives in fear of being defeated, of being ridiculed; unworthy so therefore he projects these very things onto others. Bullies demand respect which will never be forthcoming as respect is one aspect of love and love is something which must be given and received freely and willingly, with no expectations.

Many relationships fail due to fear from either one or both partners being unable to overcome the fear of commitment or the fear of failure or the fear of ‘surrendering’ the self to another. What they do not recognize is that in this surrender is a completeness brought about by releasing the fear of inadequacy and allowing love to lift and empower themselves and their partner.

Fear creates a tremendous imbalance in life. Dark outweighs light, pain and anger dominate happiness and joy; and so the cycle of negativity continues.

Those who use fear as a tool of dominance are committing a gross disservice to all concerned. The threat of punishment either physical or emotional is driven by insecurity and non-acceptance. Hate, anger and cruelty all stem from fears; either your own or those which have been forced upon you by others within your environment.

The most basic and essential task for all of mankind is to work on releasing fear and allowing love to guide your to contentment, joy and respect. Once this is attained peace and unity are unavoidable!”

To me there are basically only two real fundamental emotions – Fear and Love. Every emotion; every feeling; every action; every reaction; in fact everything we do comes from either one or the other of these driving forces. Fear, for the most part, comes from lack of knowledge and understanding. If we enable ourselves through learning to understand that which strikes fear into us at least we are then better equipped to handle it in our daily lives.

Often the fear which impacts us most is that of actually releasing pain. I know that this sounds strange as we all say that we would love to be free of the emotional pain which on some level haunts us all. There are, in my experience as a therapist, many instances where a person feels that without their pain they would have nothing. This is not a conscious thought, I am not saying that people consciously, willing hold on to their pain. I am saying that at times it feels, on a subconscious level that pain is what validates them. They have lived with their pain and their horror for so long that it has become a crutch to them… it has become their identity and if they were to release it who then would they become? The fear of that unknown ‘fearless’ identity is overwhelming. The whole scenario of unworthiness takes hold for they feel that they do not have the right to expect that their lives could possibly become full of peace; laughter and joy; love; even though that is what they would dearly love to have. It is frightening to think that they will have to readjust their life to accommodate a whole new set of feelings and emotions. What they do not realise is that it is an automatic occurrence. When we release fear love is all that is left to us.

I do not mean love as in the traditional meaning of the word, though usually once fear is release that one of one love comes freely also. I mean love as in self-love, acceptance of self, acceptance of what happens within our lives and the ability to make changes or change our perspectives to enable us to live a more peaceful existence.

I have another piece of writing from March 2010 which I would like to share with you about an amazing young Rwandan who proves that love can overcome the fear that I have described above. I will dig through my archives and find it and post it here soon.