Not everything that is fragile comes with a ‘Handle with Care’ sign. The recent death by suicide of a celebrity here in Australia has reinforced to many what those of us who suffer from depression and other such debilitating illnesses know so well. Life really is so fragile. We may have a mind like a steel trap, a heart the size of the continent and the courage of a lioness protecting her young however given a specific moment when everything is either aligned or misaligned, however you perceive it, life can be gone in an instant. The desire to end the pain, the anguish and the torment can become so strong that nothing matters more at that precise moment.

Fortunately for many somehow, someway, something or someone intervenes. Who knows what it is that overcomes the vice like grip of desperation and desolation? This intervention has been attributed to many different things. It does not really matter how; the only thing that matters is that it occurs.

What I have found most interesting in recent days is the reactions of others. There have been comments ranging from “What a sad and tragic loss of a beautiful kind soul” to “What a selfish thing to do.” Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion and on the topic of suicide those who are willing to speak out usually do have strong opinions. Once again I am not wanting to debate this either. What I do want to say is that no one can truly understand just how desolate and desperate a person actually is at that moment they decide that the only way out is death unless they have actually been there themselves. Even those who have contemplated taking their own lives do not truly understand, for they have no taken that final step.

It saddens me greatly every time I hear of a suicide or even someone attempting or contemplating suicide because I understand, from my own perception and perspective, the black hole they find themselves in, the feelings of futility in even attempting to keep on trying to claw all the way to the top where the light is.

I have shared with many stories of darkness where people have contemplated different methods…the beautiful man who held a gun to his head and then thankfully realised the finality of what he was thinking; the person who contemplated the speed with which they would have to hit that tree or that bridge in their vehicle to actually take their own life; the one who has drawn the blade across their own skin without feeling the pain, not realising until they saw the blood flowing that this was their life they were watching flow away; the rope; the medication; the gas… so many different methods. The most important thing about this is that they did not succeed! Whether it be a failed attempt or something that was only contemplated and never put into action they are here to tell the story! That is a great triumph and a step towards healing.

Who knows what the trigger may be which creates this downward spiral? It could be anything at all, a word, a conversation overheard, a scene, a memory. We are all individuals and we will all react in different ways to circumstances. If we put two people of like age, background, lifestyle in to a situation just because they have major similarities does not automatically mean that they will react the same. Society as a whole have no right to ‘judge’, what is required is education, not only for the sufferers but for their loved ones, their work mates and people in general. We ‘mental health sufferers’ do not advertise our illness and it is not like a broken limb where it is obvious to everyone. So often the most heartfelt cry I have heard is “They just don’t understand.”

Somehow, in some way, I hope that I can work towards raising the awareness of those whose paths cross mine. There are so many organisations out there who help not only the sufferers but those who are in their lives. Please, if you think someone needs help seek advice from those who are best equipped to assist you and in that way you can be of the best assistance to the sufferer. Who knows…you may just save their life.