Spear Creek….Ahhhhh what a perfect place to write…. My place of Solitude. Part 5

Spear Creek....Ahhhhh what a perfect place to write…. My place of Solitude.  Part 5

28th December 2013

What a stinker of a night last night! Soooo hot and still for the most part. Of course, the wind picked up again around 2am but not as bad as the first night. The air con whirring next door may have made me feel it even worse.

I woke nice and early, the sun was not yet sneaking over the top of the ranges. How lovely it is to lay there and read without the heat and the flies. I was tempted to turn on the radio and make a bit of noise but I know what it is like to be camping with tired and cranky kids so I restrained myself.

I ran into Clem (with the trail bike) in the communal facilities. He and his family are on their way to NSW after 6 months in the Northern Territory. They went up there for a holiday and ended up staying for a while with work being very plentiful. He thought it was time to return home and see what needed doing at his place. He assured me that if I didn’t mind living in some rough areas I would find work without any problems in the Territory. Apparently they are screaming out for workers in all fields. I wonder……

My chat with Clem was the first time I had actually spoken with anyone since my arrival. It was lovely to exchange pleasantries and a bit of light chatter and then go back to my little piece of paradise.

I was sitting drinking my coffee and contemplating the scenery when Sharon the caretaker came and introduced herself. She asked how long I planned on staying and was not at all surprised when I said I had no idea. A lovely friendly lady, she said that she and Graham were off to town (Port Augusta) for supplies and did I need anything while she was there. I assured her that I would be heading in myself before long and thanked her for her kindness. Just the perfect type of person to be looking after this place.

As I made a mental list of what I need, ice and maybe a decent new esky being the priority, one by one the others around me began to pack up and leave. By the time I was ready to head into town I was once again on my own!

On the trip to town I once again saw the emus. Not so many this time but obviously it is a place they like to hang out. I wondered for a moment whether it could be an emu farm but then when I looked at the state of the fences it was obvious they were not there to keep the emus in.

On my return from town I noticed a clunking noise in the front driver’s side of my car. Uh oh! Maybe I should not have spent that money on the new Waeco Ice Box! Oh well, what is done is done. Fortunately I do actually know a mechanic in Port Augusta and a lovely fellow he is too. I will have to get him to take a look at my car and hopefully repair it for me.

It was so nice to return to Spear Creek and ‘my’ tree. It has been a lovely place to rest and rejuvenate. Even better when there is no one around and one can feel as though they are the only person on earth.

I received a message from a girlfriend asking me what my plans for New Year’s Eve were. I don’t think she really understood when I said that I still didn’t know if I would even be back in the city by then. Not everyone feels the same as I about the bush but now that I have found this place, thanks to my friend’s recommendation, I am not at all keen to leave it.

As I snap photographs of some of the bird life I think to myself….Ahhhhh what a perfect place to write…. My place of Solitude.

To be continued…..

Spear Creek… Where did that Solitude go? Part 4

Spear Creek... Where did that Solitude go?  Part 4

27th December 2013

Evening

The day had been very warm and I was sitting in the shade of ‘my’ tree enjoying a cold drink and watching the birds playing under the sprinkler when I heard the unmistakable sound of a vehicle towing a van. Next thing I knew I had company in my little haven. Two pop up camper trailers being towed by sparkling dual cab 4x4s, in each of them were Mum and Dad and two children. They conveniently parked on the opposite side of the complex so that I had a front row seat for the entertainment.

Vehicle 1: Mum and Dad and 2 young girls approximately 12 and 9 disembark. Mum and Dad are sharing a chuckle over something and the children are chattering happily.

Vehicle 2: Mum and Dad and 1 girl approximately 12 and a boy about 10 alight. Mum and Dad are squabbling over whether the van is parked well enough or not. Daughter and son are eager to explore…but not together!

Vehicle 1: Mum tells the girls to go and have a look around and see what they can find (oh and by the way “See the kangaroo poo on the ground.” The girls laugh and off they go. Mum and Dad set about setting up their van. Obviously they have a routine and it all comes together nicely.

Vehicle 2: Kids are off with their friends exploring while Mum grumbles about how it must be great to be a kid and not have to do the work “Don’t walk in the kangaroo poo! I don’t want to have to clean that up out of the van!” They have 2 kayaks on the top of their van and have a rather animated discussion about whether it makes more sense to leave them there and wind the pop top up or remove the straps and lift them off before doing so. Eventually Dave from Vehicle 1 is called on for his opinion. Dave points out that considering they are stacked on top of each other on one side of the roof it may be best to remove them so as not to put undue strain on one side of the roof once it is raised. Mum and Dad set about undoing the two straps that hold them to the roof and yell for the kids to come and help lift them down. That done they prepare to set up camp.

Vehicle 1: Site is organised with chairs and table set up. The kids are back and Mum suggests they might like to play under the sprinkler to cool off. The kids are off and loving it.

Vehicle 2: She’s winding the roof up too fast apparently, however when she suggests to him that he might like to do it he very quickly points out that she is doing fine, just needs to slow down just a little to ensure the cable doesn’t kink. How does she know how far to wind? He assures her that she will know when it is fully extended. At last the top is up. Now to extend the beds. Gives the kids a water pistol each to play with.

Vehicle 1: Mum suggests that Dad might like to offer a hand to Vehicle 2. Didn’t catch Dad’s reply but no assistance was offered.

Vehicle 2. A discussion on where the fishing gear needed to be put and here while you are at it take these life jackets too. Next thing a tv antenna is passed out. “Hey Dave, did I tell you I brought a telly?” Dave: “You’re kidding right?” “No, I bought a 32 inch screen so we can watch the cricket. I’ll have to get you to help me set it up and tune it in.” Dave and Mum just shake their heads. At this stage I am not sure exactly what else to expect to come out the door of the van. Kids come sneaking over and squirt both sets of Mums and Dads. Vehicle 1 parents laugh and threaten retaliation. Vehicle 2 Mum shrieks that she detests being wet when she is hot, if they can’t play sensibly with them she’ll take them off them! Makes me wonder what parent would think any child is going to be “sensible” with a water pistol? More to the point what is “sensible” with a water pistol?

Eventually they settle down in the shade of the trees on the opposite side of the complex to where they set up camp. Time for drinks and some relaxation.

Another vehicle arrives. After some deliberation they decide to camp in a different area so off they go.

Another vehicle arrives. A rather large extender van with Mum and Dad and 3 small children. They decide that the spot right next to me looks great. They set up and turn the air con on to cool the van down. Dad takes the kids over to the sprinkler which the caretaker had just turned off and turned it back on again so the kids could play.

Another vehicle arrives. A van towing a motor bike in a trailer. Mum Dad and 2 teenage kids. Nowhere near as entertaining as the previous arrivals.

The caretaker comes out and turns the sprinkler off again. Toddler starts to shriek because the water has stopped. Mum waits until the caretaker has gone and unhooks the sprinkler and turns the tap on for the little one to play under. Apparently they don’t have to worry about water conservation in Esperance.

I head off to the showers lamenting that my solitude has been shattered again and this time it is not by Mother Nature.

How lucky for us all that when the partying ended the fellow in the extender van forgot to turn his outside light off thus lighting up the entire camping area. The night is incredibly hot and the air con whirrs next to me all night.

Where oh where has my solitude gone???

To be continued….

Spear Creek… Solitude and Nature. Part 3.

2013-12-27 10.18.5127th December 2013

After a rather sleepless night it was lovely to wake up and find that by some stroke of luck the bulk of my tent is in the shade of trunk of ‘my’ tree. The wind continued to blow until around 9.30am and kept it nice and cool so I took the chance to read and doze. When I was up and about I decided to take a stroll along the gully near the camp site.

Once again I was struck by the ancient feel of the land and trees. So many beautiful things to photograph. As I wandered along snapping happily I spotted a grey kangaroos tail laying out across the trail I was on. I continued on until I saw the rest of him, he was happily munching away on something by a small shrub. He raised his head and looked at me with a rather baleful stare, as if he were wishing me far away. The poor things must get sick and tired of humans invading their space. I snapped a few shots of him and then moved a little closer. Remaining very aware that this is indeed an wild animal at home in his environment, something we must never take for granted. I have heard the horror stories of what ‘roos can do with their powerful hind legs and I have no intentions of having those kinds of tales of my own to share. Once he let me take a closer photo and then bounded off away from me and along with him his mate, who had been laying down in the shade of a pepperina tree right beside where I stood. To say I was very startled would be a gross understatement. So much for being careful about getting too close to a wild animal. What was very interesting though was that something of that size can lay under the weeping leaves of a tree and go unnoticed. It does make one wonder how many other ‘things’ lay unobserved.

I continued on feeling pretty pleased with myself, enjoying the sunshine on my shoulders, trickles of perspiration rolling down my back…charming I know, but I have to tell it like it is. Sensibly I did have my back pack, mostly to carry alternative lenses for my camera but I also thought to put a water bottle in there as well. After wearing it for a while on a day as hot as yesterday I can now understand why you often see students with them lung over one shoulder; they do get quite hot after a while. Of course, my level of extreme UNfitness could contribute to the heavier than usual perspiration also. I really must do more of this!

My next walking companion was a lovely red kangaroo. Not the biggest that I have seen but quite large and muscular and strong looking. This one was far more aware of my approach and not so happy to pose for any candid shots, neither was his mate who followed closely on his tail as he bounded off ahead of me.

Once back at camp even a ham and tomato sandwich with an ice cold beer seemed like gourmet food. If I keep this up I will be able to take on Master Chef no problems!

After some quiet time with a book the noise of a vehicle told of the arrival of the caretakers. The lady raised her hand in greeting left me to myself. Solitude had been restored…..

To be continued…..

Spear Creek…. Solitude (!?!) Part 2

Spear Creek....  Solitude (!?!)  Part 2

26th December 2013

Why does food always taste better when you are camping? A simple meal of lamb chops, buttered new potatoes and tomato tasted like fine dining. Accompany it with a couple of CC and drys and I was very satisfied. As expected, my little $13 single burner worked a treat.

It is a wonderful evening and having eaten at what I describe as ‘old peoples time’ I had plenty of time to watch the fading sun light up the sky in beautiful shades of pinks, oranges and mauves. As I have many times in the past I lament the fact that my artistic talent leans more toward the descriptive word than the use of a pencil or paints. I would love just once to be able to capture the glory of a sunset or sunrise….oh well, I will just keep putting it out there!

I receive a message from the caretakers saying they will be back tomorrow afternoon and will I still be here then. I very quickly responded “Yes, for sure.” I am in no rush to part company with ‘my’ tree! As usual I discovered that my sense of direction was all wrong and the sun has not set where I expected it to, however, this is no real problem as I have chosen the prime spot in the park, where I am shaded almost every moment.

Eventually my bed calls to me. Fortunately I still have the air mattress from my camping days with my family back in Qld, let’s just hope that it has not sprung a leak since then! Armed with my book and my little reading light I snuggle down in bed. A predicted 13 degrees overnight has me under my blanket feeling safe and sound and content. I drift off to sleep to the night sounds of the bush.

I awake suddenly to the most unholy noise, for a split second totally confused as to what it could be. Then I realise that it is the wind hammering at my tent. I had not zipped up the entry door on the fly as I wanted the air to circulate. Believe me it was circulating! I wondered how it was possible that the tent was still in one piece. I climbed out of my cocoon and stood back and observed my little haven being bent into more shapes than a contortionist on show night. A fleeting thought along the lines of “I should have spent more than $50 on my tent” went through my mind.

It was then I looked around me and noticed the beautiful night sky above me. The stars were shining brightly, twinkling down at me like mischievous angels from above. I could feel my Dad up there having a chuckle but proud and punch of his girl. As I gazed up into the sky I felt the connection to everyone on earth, not only in my beautiful Australia but all countries across the world. There is something about a starry night that does that to me and it is a wonderful feeling.

It was rather cool outside so I climbed back into my cocoon, after securing the door in the fly. Sleep was a little difficult to come by after that as I lay there wondering just how strong a wind it would take to lift me up and deposit me in some distant place……

To be continued…..

Spear Creek…. a place of Solitude (Part 1)

Spear Creek.... a place of Solitude (Part 1)

As I approached the entry to Spear Creek, there in the paddock beside me I saw at least a dozen emus, possibly more, they were scattered everywhere fossicking on the barren land for some little tid bit. As I pulled over to snap a few photos I knew I was coming to the right place.

Spear Creek, a working sheep station just out from Stirling North in South Australia, was recommended to me by someone to whom I would entrust my life. If he said this place would suit my search for solitude then that is where I was going.

Upon arrival the office was shut with a notice saying that management was currently away and to please select a site and ring the number provided to arrange payment. I walked around the campsites and was instantly in awe of the beautiful ancient trees around the area, the backdrop to the trees being the magnificent Flinders Ranges. The best part about it was that there was not another person in sight.

As I started to clear off an area to set up my tent marvelling at the number of butterflies which were fluttering around, I reached to pick up something lying on the ground. It was a bottle top on which was stamped a lion’s head. Now anyone who knows me well knows that I always wear two pendants, one of an angel and the other a lion’s head. The appearance of the butterflies (living symbols of angels) and the lion’s head had me smiling deep within. The signs are always there, we just have to recognise them.

So I set about putting my campsite together. The birds danced and chattered in the trees around me. It was not long at all before they had christened my brand new tent with a dropping or two and when I scolded them they proved that their aim was no fluke as the next one was on my head! Cheeky things.

After the work was completed I sat under the shade of ‘my’ ancient tree, a lovely cold beer in a stubby cooler; and allowed the energy to soak right into my being. How lovely it is to not only have the awareness of ancient times but also to have it surrounding you. Off in the distance I could hear sheep bleating, a comforting childhood memory. The birdsong never ceased, not until the light of the day had faded.

There was a time when this kind of solitude would have been too much for me, fears would have surfaced and I would not have been able to stay in such a place. Now, at this time in my life this is exactly what makes my heart soar. To reach out and touch the beautiful smooth bark of ‘my ‘ ancient tree and feel the energy emanating from it is a humbling experience indeed. Images of those who had walked the land before me danced before my eyes.

Indeed, what a wonderful place is Spear Creek; one of those rare places that really can be referred to as Heaven on Earth.

to be continued….

Arid Beauty…

Arid Beauty…

Arid Beauty…

There is beauty in the harshness
Of the dry and arid land
A gift from Mother Nature
This earth on which we stand

Though some may never see it
They will never feel
The vibrant pulsing earth
That to me is so real

Yes it is alive
The vibrations run through me
The echoes on the wind
With my heart I see

Busy bustling creatures
Going about their lives
Blissfully unaware
Of the world in which they survive

The oasis in the desert
The beautiful boab tree
Shelter for so many
In the searing burning heat

A beautiful trickling spring
In the middle of nowhere
A lifeline for so many
How did it get there?

Beautiful rocky outcrops
Jutting up from nowhere it seems
From where comes this formation
Full of ancient dreams

Our world is steeped in wonder
There for all to see
This precious gift from Mother Nature
Laid bare for you and me…..

Trish Johnston 19th August 2011

Cleansing Tears….

Cleansing Tears….

Tears are very cleansing
Like a tonic to the soul
Let them flow, release them
Let go of all untold

With release there comes the comfort
Of letting go of pain
The pressure valve is lifted
and life begins again

It does no good to hold them in
They build up so inside
Until you just can’t stand it
And can no longer hide

After tears there comes the smile
Radiating through
The lightness so uplifting
As it spreads right through

This lightness may not last for long
It may be quite short lived
But each time it visits you
Another gift it gives

Eventually the smile wins out
And the tears are overcome
Instead of greeting darkness
Face uplifted toward the sun

Some of us live in this cycle
Though it’s never what we choose
We need to know we are not alone
And we’ve nothing to lose

By letting out our emotions
And being honest with ourselves
We can help to control it
This dreadful living hell

We don’t want your pity
Just understanding we ask
A smile and your friendship
Help bring light into the dark.

Trish Johnston 9th December 2010

Depression…. Part II

Depression.... Part II

It is interesting to note that while we are in the grip of depression we truly feel that there is not another living person who can possibly understand what it is that we are experiencing. We feel that we are totally alone and destined to remain that way for even if we could bring ourselves to a stage where we could actually contemplate a relationship who could possibly ever want to share a life with someone so screwed up and insecure? We never ever consider that there are many many people living with very similar burdens as we are.

It is indeed true that about 1 in 5 (maybe even more) people suffer from some form of debilitating mental illness at some stage of their lives. So many suffer in silence, too engulfed in their despair to realise that people truly do care and that help is right there at their fingertips, if only they could see it. Instead, typically, we tend to allow ourselves to sink deeper and deeper into the black hole which is consuming us. We isolate ourselves, very cleverly managing to function through out the times when we are with others only to, at the very first opportunity, scurry back to our ‘safe’ place where we can hide from everything for a time.

I live alone and I enjoy my own company. I am an introvert by nature which means (according to a wonderful psychologist I shared my angst with) that I find that when I am with others I feel drained. I need time by myself to rejuvinate. Alone time is good for my soul, or at least time in company which is unobtrusive and undemanding. I find that I can spend weeks on end doing nothing much more than going to and from work, eating and sleeping. It eventually culminates with a need to escape into the country. The minute I drive out of the city I feel the weight start to lift off my shoulders and my mind begin to start to peek out from where it has been hiding. I cannot wait to go into the bush. Sometimes I pull the car over and take a little stroll or even just get out and breathe in the air, allowing peace to fill me and settle my weary mind. I may take my anti depressants religiously but they are very strongly aided by my afinity with the bush and its ability to cleanse me of my ‘crap’ so to speak. I take copious amount of photographs so that when I return to the city I have the memories of the bush to lose myself in. I imagine it is difficult for those who do not have the love of the bush to understand just how therapeutic it really is for me. We each have something which lifts our heart and feeds our soul. If you do not know what it is then I suggest that you explore and find it. It could just save your life!

Depression… a personal view (Part 1)

Depression…the silent nightmare which stalks so many of us.

One of the biggest problems with depression is the stigma that is attached to any form of mental illness. I know that I have shocked people when I have stated that I in fact have a mental illness. You see, to many depression is not an illness…after all it is not like you can actually see it. One very special person said to me once “If I had a broken leg they would accept it but because they cannot see this they think that it doesn’t exist”. I can identify with these words and the anguish with which they were spoken. As one who has had this illness for the best part of my life, though diagnosed only in much more recent years, I have often wished that it could take the form of a physical ailment so that others could understand that it really does exist. I know that there have been many in my past who have told me that I have to just “pull myself together” and to just “get over it”. If only it were that simple! There is a huge difference between being depressed over something which has occurred in your life and having depression. To be depressed is natural in times of mourning or hurt. It is a natural reaction to some circumstances. In these cases it is usually gone within a period of time. It is an emotional reaction. To have depression is vastly different. Yes, it is all about emotions however it is not something over which we have any control. I have tried many different methods over many years with varying degrees of success. The biggest problem for me, as I imagine it is with most of my fellow sufferers though I hesitate to generalise too much, is the absolute lack of self esteem and worthiness. The inability to see oneself as having any value in either your own life or anyone elses. Once this very basic and fundamental piece of one is taken away it is very difficult to find a footing on which to maintain ones day to day life. I know that I tend to slip into what is almost an automated way of functioning. Any real value or quality in what I do is lost to me. I do not see myself as having anything of value to contribute, whether it be in my personal life or my working environment. I have developed over the years an ability to put on a facade through which most people do not see. Is this because I am very good at it or because people rarely choose to see beyond what is presented to them or they simply do not care? Some people with depression appear very needy, some withdraw totally from contact with others, some become aggressive and violent. Mostly I withdraw and my solitude becomes my haven, my safety barrier between myself and the outside world. To others I may seem like a perfectly ‘normal’ person, they have no idea of the anxiety and anguish which tumbles around inside of me like an internal cyclone sucking away at me slowly bit by little bit destroying my quality of life until that particular wave releases me and for a time I am able to rejoin the outside world until the next one hits and catches me in it’s strong and powerful grip. I have certainly found that medication helps, though I have in the past been like most who take anti depressants and once I feel in control I cease taking the medication only to plummet back into the darkness again. I accept now that I will probably be taking this medication for the rest of my life, just as one with a lot of other illnesses do. It is not a sign of strength to avoid treatment though most find that the most difficult and confronting part of the illness is to actually go to a doctor and ask for assistance or to ask any one for assistance at all. The first step to getting your life back is to reach out… reach out to someone who is in a position to help…….   To Be Continued…

Peace and tranquility

Peace and tranquility

As I sit in meditation
in my small suburban lounge
I feel your spirit beckoning me
vivid images abound

the sounds I know so well
the rustling of the leaves
as they sway too and fro
caressed by the breeze

birds busily chattering
as they go about their lives
ever watchful, careful
to ensure they survive

old man ‘roo dozing peacefully
under clear blue skies
there is naught to bother him
but the persistent buzzing flies

the emu’s constant pecking
at the seeds blown adrift
now nestled on rich red soil
as through the rocks they sift

soaring eagles far above
as the currents lift them high
only to plummet rapidly
when a tasty morsel they spy

I wish that I could stay here
lost in the visions of my mind
where this peaceful tranquility
is not so hard to find

It’s tough being a country girl
lost in the city for a time
I look forward to these moments
When I am yours and you are mine.

Trish Johnston 18th September 2013