She…

She…

She sees you sit alone there
In the middle of the night
The glow of your cigarette
The only sign of life

She feels in you the anguish
Of a life not reconciled
The need that burns within
To set the wrongs to right

She understands your pain
As it reflects her own
For she could not provide
A safe secure home

She knows the images
Are burnt into your mind
The fear ever present
Of one so harsh and unkind

She feels that she has failed you
In a woman’s foremost role
To keep you safe and protected
Inside your own home

Though you are an adult now
And have children of your own
You choose to isolate yourself
And spend your time alone

Her hand reaches out to you
Though you are unaware
How she wishes she could tell you
Just how much she cares.

Trish Johnston 8th February 2014

Forget the Glass

Forget the Glass

There’s really no point looking in the bottom of a glass
The answers do not hide there for future present past
For a time you are anaesthetised from the searing pain
Momentary release that’s all, until it returns again

Memories are your enemy at least that is what you think
Though really it is the emotions to which those memories link
You struggle with them daily, never really knowing
When something will trigger you and set the emotions flowing

Experiences can rob you of very fundamental rights
Leave you feeling worthless with no strength to fight
They may take from you the belief that you can be safe
The ability to open up and allow love to take fears place

Trust is such a fragile thing which can be shattered with a word
Hope becomes what others have though to you it seems absurd
Dreams are never to be expressed for fear of ridicule
So in silent pain you sit, self-preservation the golden rule

There’s really no point now looking back into your past
Whether it was bad or good for now you have just one task
Seek that which will free you from your dark despair
Release that crutch that carries you though you don’t see it there

Life is meant for living, fulfilment yours to reap
It is okay to expect happiness, of love and beauty speak
You are allowed to dream, to let peace your angst replace
To believe in you and a wonderful life is yours to embrace

Trish Johnston 8th February

Do you see what I see?

Do you see what I see?

Do you see what I see
As I gaze into the sky
Sparkling shining stars
Lighting the darkness of my mind

Do you see the moon up there
Her beautiful silver glow
Washing down upon us
Whispering secrets we need to know

Gentle words stirring feelings
Like a lovers sweet serenade
Teasing taunting all my senses
Music being perfectly played

But wait…..
Is that cloud I see
Drifting before my eyes?
Or is it life’s reality
My sweetest dreams being denied

With the storm comes an awakening
Lightning flashes bright
Thunder bringing passion
Pure unadulterated delight

Sunrise steals the diamonds
Like a thief gliding across the land
But it cannot steal the caress
I felt from the touch of your hand.

My Wealth, My Self

My Wealth, My Self

One thing that I have learned
In this journey I am partaking
Is that happiness can be found
When all else is forsaken

Some think that their possessions
Are the way to measure wealth
Me, I see things differently
My wealth is my Self

For all those vast possessions
The house, the boat, the cars
They did not make me happy
My pleasure in them did not last

Now, I have nothing
Except my heart to give
And you know I have discovered
That is not such a bad way to live.

Trish Johnston 4th July 2011

Africa…my dream

Africa…my dream

I have had a dream
For the best part of my life
To walk on the plains of Africa
In both her darkness and her light

The feel her powerful energy
Radiate into my soul
Her strength, her grace, her beauty
Wonders to behold

I long to watch her wildlife
In a home of their own choosing
In the places they belong
Which they are so fast losing

I long to know her people
In their truest form
The powerful emotions
With which they were born

I long to visit Africa
And walk upon the earth
Of this land which beckons me
From the country of my birth.

Trish Johnston 27 January 2014

My wish for you

My wish for you

My wish for you is freedom
From the cage which you are in
To live a life you choose
In a place your heart can sing

My wish for you is happiness
Seated deep within your being
The kind that breeds contentment
Which you have rarely seen

My wish you is peace
May you find it in this life
Away from pain and suffering
Anguish, fear and strife

My wish for you is love
That eternal burning flame
To glow bright within your heart
And make you whole again

Trish Johnston 27 January 2014

Let our paths entwine

Let our paths entwine

You may think I do not know you
But what you fail to see
Is the soul connection
Between you or me

I see in you reflections
Of what my life has been
Images flash before me
Which only I have seen

Yet I know your pain
Your confusion clear as day
Because I too can feel it
In my own way

Share with me a moment
Let our paths entwine
Maybe for just a few short steps
Or maybe for all time

Trish Johnston 27 January 2014

Toast to Australia

Toast to Australia

Lamb chops on the barbie
Throw some prawns on too
Sit back and have a coldie
What does our day mean to you?
Is it all about tradition
The thongs and hat and zinc
The joking Aussie ocker
There’s more to it I think
We have a blessed existence
In this land we call our own
Although there’s great confusion
With all the different time zones
We have every season
On any given day
Be sure to pack accordingly
Before you go away
We are a friendly nation
Or so the others think
Pull up a stump and chat
And we’ll shout another drink
We don’t go chasing kangaroos
Up the city streets
And koalas are not really bears
That’s all tongue in cheek
We have the galahs and cockatoos
With their rowdy rawkus cries
And of course we have the feathered ones
Who clutter up our skies
We have every sport imaginable
Cricket, rugby, league, AFL
Bowls, tennis, Iron man
Far too many to tell
We also have our culture
The arts, entertainment grand
Reflections of the character
Of this wonderful land
So crack the top off a cold one
Pour a glass of wine
Let’s drink a toast to Australia
The greatest country we can find…

Trish Johnston 26th January 2011

Rest and rejuvenation – Clare Valley

Rest and rejuvenation – Clare Valley

Rest and rejuvenation – Clare Valley.

“I think you need to spend some time resting to give yourself a chance to recover. Now how long shall I write the certificate for?” I sat there a little stunned, staring speechlessly at my doctor. Me? A sick certificate? Time off work? “Ah, is that really necessary?” I asked. The rather dry response was “Well, my dear, if you want to get on top of this before it gets any more on top of you I would suggest that it is necessary. You will have medication that will quite possibly make you drowsy and even less able to concentrate than you can now. Yes, I think it is necessary.”

Of course, it could not have come at a worse time in relation to my work but then ill health does not usually choose a convenient time, does it? While I felt extremely guilty (why I am not sure) about not being at work I certainly felt unwell enough to justify a lot of sleep in the first 36 hours I was home.

Another thing that it had a huge impact on is that I was all set to go camping again this weekend. I already had my shopping taken care of and was planning on bringing the tent and the rest of the camping gear up from the shed during the week so that I could have the car packed and ready to go when I finished work on Friday afternoon. Now, I may be quite strong minded and stubborn but I am not silly enough to go camping on my own when I am not well. How disappointing! I had such a wonderful time during my maiden solo trip at Christmas time and I was expecting more of the same again this long weekend.

Not to be out smarted I sat down and did some research into accommodation close by. Wow! I expected that it would not be cheap being a long weekend but I didn’t expect the prices that I found, nor did I expect to have to book for the whole weekend. I can understand that the industry has to make their money when they can but I am rather naïve in these things.

Okay, time to rethink again. What options did I have… the only one that made any sense was to go before the weekend and get the cheaper rate. There was only one night but at least it was something. Once my mind was made up I searched around for a reasonably priced place in the Clare Valley. For those of you who don’t know the Clare Valley is a beautiful area full of world famous wineries.

I booked a room online at the Clare Valley Motel and threw some bits and pieces into a bag, most importantly my camera and accessories. Though it is not a long drive to Clare I knew that I might need to rest along the way so I was prepared for a longer than usual trip and of course, with my camera in tow time really meant nothing to me anyway.

I love the vision that one sees with when looking for a photo opportunity. Never before have I seen as much detail as since investing in a decent camera. With the convenience of being able to delete the duds at no expense the freedom one has with a digital camera is wonderful.

Upon arrival in Clare, after many stops along the way I checked in to the motel and was very pleasantly surprised with just how nice it was, especially considering the room was at the low end of the price scale for the area. Eagerly I set off into the town proper with my camera. Oh, what a treat the beautiful old buildings in so many South Australian towns are! So much heritage preserved, one can feel the history opening up before them as their eyes rest on these magnificent structures. Not all of them are huge but they all have such wonderful character. I can just stroll through them for hours. As with most small towns the locals were friendly and welcoming also.

None more so than the bricklayer and his off siders who greeted me when I stuck my nose into The Taminga Hotel. “Come in, love. We won’t bite you” called the man at the end of the bar. Hair and beard as white as snow but I think he had lived a pretty hard life and his looks could have been a bit deceiving. There were only the 3 of them in the bar. He assured me that they were just a bunch of brickies enjoying a beer at the end of the day and that they had only just knocked off. They all chuckled when I said that I felt much safer knowing that they had not had enough to drink yet to get out of hand. “What do you do for work, love?” I hesitated, then said “I’m a Site Administrator/Document Controller for a company in Adelaide.” One of the offsiders said “Can you put that in plain English for us?” The bearded one said “Ah, so you have more qualifications than all of us put together! An intelligent one!” I had to chuckle to myself at the misapprehension some people live under. I ordered myself a soft drink and sat and chatted with these three characters. I discovered why the older one wears a beard too… It is obviously to catch his teeth when they fall from his mouth.

Let me explain… we were sitting talking happily, I noticed as we talked that he only had one front tooth in his top gum, the other 5 or so were missing. As he talked, and he was pretty good at it and had an opinion of everything, I could not believe my eyes when the one remaining tooth fell into his beard. Without even faltering he plucked the tooth from his beard, popped it into his pocket and continued to share with me his views on the youth of today and how to ‘fix’ them. I would not have believed what I had actually seen if one of the young guys didn’t have a chuckle and look at me with a cheeky grin on his face. I guess it must be something that happens from time to time!

I finished up my drink and bid farewell to the brickies and set off to find somewhere to buy dinner to take back to my room. The motel offered food but I wanted to spend a little more time wandering around town. 30 minutes later armed with a terrific smelling pizza I returned to my motel for dinner.
After dinner I decided that I would take a stroll. Not really the smartest move, by the time I arrived back at my motel room I was feeling like a wrung out dish cloth.

Why is it that when you are away from your own bed it is so difficult to sleep? I had 4 pillows and 3 cushions to choose from and not one of them was to my liking. Talk about a princess! My head was throbbing, my ears aching, my eye so inflamed that I thought it was going to burst and I still couldn’t get to sleep. Turn the air conditioner off, ah the silence, that is better. Now I am hot. Wreck the bed so I am just under the sheet. Just about to doze off and the people from the unit next door arrive. I listen to them take their gear inside. Thankfully the rooms are good enough that I didn’t have to listen to their conversation once they were inside. Oh come on! Do you really have to shower now? Ah quiet at last. Now the light from the clock radio was irritating me. I put my book on top of it to cover it. Oh, I know so well what it is like for a child to be over tired, every little thing an irritation. I toss and I turn, each time I roll over the room spins crazily ARGHHHH! Just go to bloody sleep, woman! Eventually the medication kicked in and I drifted off to sleep.

Ahhh the bliss of waking this morning to the sound of rain on the roof. Not the best for taking photos but the rain is so badly needed everywhere that one could not possibly complain. After breakfast in town at a lovely little café I eventually started to make my way back to the city, stopping frequently for photos just to enjoy watching some sheep in a paddock or the clouds moving across the sky. Grateful for to be in a position to be able to get out and enjoy some of these finer things in life, the simple, the ordinary and the very beautiful; this country so many take for granted which really is the most wonderful and incredible place to live.

A Mother’s Energy

A Mother's Energy

I sat quietly in meditation, my intention to send love and healing to all those who are suffering at this time. My focus not particularly on any one person but on the vibration of the injured souls throughout the world. The music in the background was not familiar to me, it was mainly piano which is not the usual music to which I meditate, if indeed I have any. The piece was hauntingly beautiful starting out very gently, soothing me, taking me inside myself to that place where I go before I can release the infinite energy from within. I felt that wonderfully familiar calm flow through me, erupting softly, the energy flowing from it in many beautiful pastel shades, mauves, pinks, crimsons, pale but vibrant blues and greens, yellows; gold and silver. I felt myself leave my physical presence, a familiar feeling where I am removed from what is happening but still aware of every sensation, every touch, every sound. As the music washed over and around me it carried the beautiful multi-coloured energy along with it in healing waves, rolling and swirling all around. It was being drawn mainly in one direction, off across a distance immeasurable in the human scale. I knew, without conscious thought who it was seeking. There, sitting upon a rock, an elbow resting on one knee, the hand rubbing his stubbled chin, cigarette in hand. The other hand resting on the knee dangling off the edge of the rock before him. At first glance the man looked peaceful, at home but then as the energy drew closer his appearance became more clear. The eyes were hollow with little life, the face which once had known laughter was now drawn with worry and fatigue, the shoulders striving to maintain a position of pride slightly hunched and a little concave. A mere shell of the vibrant man that had once been.

As I watched the energy draw closer and closer to the man the music built into a minor crescendo. From out of nowhere the sound of a sudden storm erupted. The man sat and watched the energy descending on him, disinterested and seemingly unaffected. It was almost as though he had been through this all before to no avail. His shield of pain and disillusionment had never been penetrated. Lightning flashed and as it did I felt another presence formulating in the energy. The mans eyes widened as he too saw the beautiful apparition. The energy was female, of the earth, of the Universe. The most powerful of energies, that of the essence of the Mother. As the man struggled to hold his battered and beaten energy in tact more lightning flashed, seemingly from the Mother energies heart. It enveloped everything before it, the man, the rock, the country side and me. The feeling of the most profound love overcame me as I felt my energy being lifted further still by this magnificent presence. The man reached toward the presence tentatively as though afraid she would vanish into thin air. Rain, soft gentle and healing fell gently upon the earth, upon the man. As I watched, my energy surrounding him in a loving cocoon the Mother presence laid one hand upon his cheek, gently soothing. He winced as though he were going to pull away and then his sad demeanour crumpled. Tears streamed down his face, mixing with the rain on his cheeks. The presence caught the tears but not the rain, in her other hand. Each time her hand filled with tears she cast them all around on to the barren land. As each tear was absorbed into the earth the soil around the man became fertile and tiny green shoots sprung forth. The tears washed the shadows from the man’s eyes until they were sparkling and full of life just as the land around him was awakening. Before long the swirling colourful energy was totally absorbed by this new environment. Birds of all colours flittered in nearby trees, wild flowers carpeted the desert floor. Crickets sounded gleefully, chirping joyfully at the abundance of life.

As the music mellowed once again the presence began to fade. She touched both of the man’s cheeks and kissed his forehead, then rested her hands upon his chest. The energy which held her presence so strongly flowed rapidly through the man, giving him sustenance. As I watched, the presence dwindled into a mere wisp of colour. The man stood proudly, full of wonder at the energy flowing through him, knowing that though the energy was no longer visible to him, she is forever with him, within him, keeping him strong, urging him to live and enjoy the flame of life she has reignited within him. The man turned and smiled at me, right into my soul, off in the distance I heard a lion roar……