As many introverts do, I love to people watch.  I love to watch others with absolutely no agenda other than to observe.  It is very interesting what comes at times like this, what can be seen, what is revealed without any awareness.  Of course, as an empath often I do not have to observe, sometimes merely thinking about the person brings forth images and emotions.  There was a time when I did not understand this and I believed that these emotions were mine. Now I have come to realise that while I feel the emotions they are not mine to keep, they are that part of another which I have the ability to feel and most of the time interpret.  This can be both a blessing and a curse as often the first instinct is to reach out from a place of loving kindness. This is what I always used to do however, now I reach out to very few.  In fact, for the most part, I wait for them to come to me and then it is for me to decide where I go from there.  This is my very simple method of protecting myself.

Recently I seem to be confronted with many people with very strong fears of abandonment and rejection. Is this a case of like attracts like?  Or is there more to it than that?  This question rolls around in my subconscious and I’m sure an answer will come to me.

As I dissect these emotions they unfold in all their complicated simplicity.  So many have experienced the pain of being abandoned at some stage in their lives.  That much is obvious, but then what follows that is a myriad of reactions.  Each individual person reacts differently to any given scenario, though ultimately self-preservation is their goal.

Although it is not seen an official phobia, the fear of abandonment is almost certainly one of the most common and most damaging “phobias” of all. People with the fear of abandonment very often display compulsive behaviours and patterns of thought which subconsciously they use to sabotage their relationships, ultimately leading to the dreaded though expected abandonment. This fear can be devastating, creating a vortex of still more fears off shooting from it.

• They foster co-dependent relationships because this fulfills their deep desire to feel needed.
• They collect relationships in an effort to prove to themselves that they are loved.
• They form close relationships with those that they are least likely to be able to fulfill that relationship with. This gives them the opening to pour all their emotions into the ‘relationship’ but never have to be totally, tangibly involved or accessible.
• They do not believe that they have a right to true happiness.
• Their loneliness consumes them and leads them on that never ending cycle of seeking a relationship to validate their worth.
• They live in a world of denial
• They fear that others will not accept the negative aspects of them, not acknowledging that we all have those negative aspects. It is all about balancing the negative and the positives… as everything in life is.
• They expect and accept blame for almost everything.
• They expect to fail.
• They often suffer from other fears also ie. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of commitment etc
• They fail to see their true worth.
• They push away those they love the most.

And life goes on…

Peaceful journeys

Indigo… aka Trish