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Monthly Archives: January 2014

Do you see what I see?

Do you see what I see?

Do you see what I see
As I gaze into the sky
Sparkling shining stars
Lighting the darkness of my mind

Do you see the moon up there
Her beautiful silver glow
Washing down upon us
Whispering secrets we need to know

Gentle words stirring feelings
Like a lovers sweet serenade
Teasing taunting all my senses
Music being perfectly played

But wait…..
Is that cloud I see
Drifting before my eyes?
Or is it life’s reality
My sweetest dreams being denied

With the storm comes an awakening
Lightning flashes bright
Thunder bringing passion
Pure unadulterated delight

Sunrise steals the diamonds
Like a thief gliding across the land
But it cannot steal the caress
I felt from the touch of your hand.

My Wealth, My Self

My Wealth, My Self

One thing that I have learned
In this journey I am partaking
Is that happiness can be found
When all else is forsaken

Some think that their possessions
Are the way to measure wealth
Me, I see things differently
My wealth is my Self

For all those vast possessions
The house, the boat, the cars
They did not make me happy
My pleasure in them did not last

Now, I have nothing
Except my heart to give
And you know I have discovered
That is not such a bad way to live.

Trish Johnston 4th July 2011

Africa…my dream

Africa…my dream

I have had a dream
For the best part of my life
To walk on the plains of Africa
In both her darkness and her light

The feel her powerful energy
Radiate into my soul
Her strength, her grace, her beauty
Wonders to behold

I long to watch her wildlife
In a home of their own choosing
In the places they belong
Which they are so fast losing

I long to know her people
In their truest form
The powerful emotions
With which they were born

I long to visit Africa
And walk upon the earth
Of this land which beckons me
From the country of my birth.

Trish Johnston 27 January 2014

My wish for you

My wish for you

My wish for you is freedom
From the cage which you are in
To live a life you choose
In a place your heart can sing

My wish for you is happiness
Seated deep within your being
The kind that breeds contentment
Which you have rarely seen

My wish you is peace
May you find it in this life
Away from pain and suffering
Anguish, fear and strife

My wish for you is love
That eternal burning flame
To glow bright within your heart
And make you whole again

Trish Johnston 27 January 2014

Let our paths entwine

Let our paths entwine

You may think I do not know you
But what you fail to see
Is the soul connection
Between you or me

I see in you reflections
Of what my life has been
Images flash before me
Which only I have seen

Yet I know your pain
Your confusion clear as day
Because I too can feel it
In my own way

Share with me a moment
Let our paths entwine
Maybe for just a few short steps
Or maybe for all time

Trish Johnston 27 January 2014

Toast to Australia

Toast to Australia

Lamb chops on the barbie
Throw some prawns on too
Sit back and have a coldie
What does our day mean to you?
Is it all about tradition
The thongs and hat and zinc
The joking Aussie ocker
There’s more to it I think
We have a blessed existence
In this land we call our own
Although there’s great confusion
With all the different time zones
We have every season
On any given day
Be sure to pack accordingly
Before you go away
We are a friendly nation
Or so the others think
Pull up a stump and chat
And we’ll shout another drink
We don’t go chasing kangaroos
Up the city streets
And koalas are not really bears
That’s all tongue in cheek
We have the galahs and cockatoos
With their rowdy rawkus cries
And of course we have the feathered ones
Who clutter up our skies
We have every sport imaginable
Cricket, rugby, league, AFL
Bowls, tennis, Iron man
Far too many to tell
We also have our culture
The arts, entertainment grand
Reflections of the character
Of this wonderful land
So crack the top off a cold one
Pour a glass of wine
Let’s drink a toast to Australia
The greatest country we can find…

Trish Johnston 26th January 2011

Rest and rejuvenation – Clare Valley

Rest and rejuvenation – Clare Valley

Rest and rejuvenation – Clare Valley.

“I think you need to spend some time resting to give yourself a chance to recover. Now how long shall I write the certificate for?” I sat there a little stunned, staring speechlessly at my doctor. Me? A sick certificate? Time off work? “Ah, is that really necessary?” I asked. The rather dry response was “Well, my dear, if you want to get on top of this before it gets any more on top of you I would suggest that it is necessary. You will have medication that will quite possibly make you drowsy and even less able to concentrate than you can now. Yes, I think it is necessary.”

Of course, it could not have come at a worse time in relation to my work but then ill health does not usually choose a convenient time, does it? While I felt extremely guilty (why I am not sure) about not being at work I certainly felt unwell enough to justify a lot of sleep in the first 36 hours I was home.

Another thing that it had a huge impact on is that I was all set to go camping again this weekend. I already had my shopping taken care of and was planning on bringing the tent and the rest of the camping gear up from the shed during the week so that I could have the car packed and ready to go when I finished work on Friday afternoon. Now, I may be quite strong minded and stubborn but I am not silly enough to go camping on my own when I am not well. How disappointing! I had such a wonderful time during my maiden solo trip at Christmas time and I was expecting more of the same again this long weekend.

Not to be out smarted I sat down and did some research into accommodation close by. Wow! I expected that it would not be cheap being a long weekend but I didn’t expect the prices that I found, nor did I expect to have to book for the whole weekend. I can understand that the industry has to make their money when they can but I am rather naïve in these things.

Okay, time to rethink again. What options did I have… the only one that made any sense was to go before the weekend and get the cheaper rate. There was only one night but at least it was something. Once my mind was made up I searched around for a reasonably priced place in the Clare Valley. For those of you who don’t know the Clare Valley is a beautiful area full of world famous wineries.

I booked a room online at the Clare Valley Motel and threw some bits and pieces into a bag, most importantly my camera and accessories. Though it is not a long drive to Clare I knew that I might need to rest along the way so I was prepared for a longer than usual trip and of course, with my camera in tow time really meant nothing to me anyway.

I love the vision that one sees with when looking for a photo opportunity. Never before have I seen as much detail as since investing in a decent camera. With the convenience of being able to delete the duds at no expense the freedom one has with a digital camera is wonderful.

Upon arrival in Clare, after many stops along the way I checked in to the motel and was very pleasantly surprised with just how nice it was, especially considering the room was at the low end of the price scale for the area. Eagerly I set off into the town proper with my camera. Oh, what a treat the beautiful old buildings in so many South Australian towns are! So much heritage preserved, one can feel the history opening up before them as their eyes rest on these magnificent structures. Not all of them are huge but they all have such wonderful character. I can just stroll through them for hours. As with most small towns the locals were friendly and welcoming also.

None more so than the bricklayer and his off siders who greeted me when I stuck my nose into The Taminga Hotel. “Come in, love. We won’t bite you” called the man at the end of the bar. Hair and beard as white as snow but I think he had lived a pretty hard life and his looks could have been a bit deceiving. There were only the 3 of them in the bar. He assured me that they were just a bunch of brickies enjoying a beer at the end of the day and that they had only just knocked off. They all chuckled when I said that I felt much safer knowing that they had not had enough to drink yet to get out of hand. “What do you do for work, love?” I hesitated, then said “I’m a Site Administrator/Document Controller for a company in Adelaide.” One of the offsiders said “Can you put that in plain English for us?” The bearded one said “Ah, so you have more qualifications than all of us put together! An intelligent one!” I had to chuckle to myself at the misapprehension some people live under. I ordered myself a soft drink and sat and chatted with these three characters. I discovered why the older one wears a beard too… It is obviously to catch his teeth when they fall from his mouth.

Let me explain… we were sitting talking happily, I noticed as we talked that he only had one front tooth in his top gum, the other 5 or so were missing. As he talked, and he was pretty good at it and had an opinion of everything, I could not believe my eyes when the one remaining tooth fell into his beard. Without even faltering he plucked the tooth from his beard, popped it into his pocket and continued to share with me his views on the youth of today and how to ‘fix’ them. I would not have believed what I had actually seen if one of the young guys didn’t have a chuckle and look at me with a cheeky grin on his face. I guess it must be something that happens from time to time!

I finished up my drink and bid farewell to the brickies and set off to find somewhere to buy dinner to take back to my room. The motel offered food but I wanted to spend a little more time wandering around town. 30 minutes later armed with a terrific smelling pizza I returned to my motel for dinner.
After dinner I decided that I would take a stroll. Not really the smartest move, by the time I arrived back at my motel room I was feeling like a wrung out dish cloth.

Why is it that when you are away from your own bed it is so difficult to sleep? I had 4 pillows and 3 cushions to choose from and not one of them was to my liking. Talk about a princess! My head was throbbing, my ears aching, my eye so inflamed that I thought it was going to burst and I still couldn’t get to sleep. Turn the air conditioner off, ah the silence, that is better. Now I am hot. Wreck the bed so I am just under the sheet. Just about to doze off and the people from the unit next door arrive. I listen to them take their gear inside. Thankfully the rooms are good enough that I didn’t have to listen to their conversation once they were inside. Oh come on! Do you really have to shower now? Ah quiet at last. Now the light from the clock radio was irritating me. I put my book on top of it to cover it. Oh, I know so well what it is like for a child to be over tired, every little thing an irritation. I toss and I turn, each time I roll over the room spins crazily ARGHHHH! Just go to bloody sleep, woman! Eventually the medication kicked in and I drifted off to sleep.

Ahhh the bliss of waking this morning to the sound of rain on the roof. Not the best for taking photos but the rain is so badly needed everywhere that one could not possibly complain. After breakfast in town at a lovely little café I eventually started to make my way back to the city, stopping frequently for photos just to enjoy watching some sheep in a paddock or the clouds moving across the sky. Grateful for to be in a position to be able to get out and enjoy some of these finer things in life, the simple, the ordinary and the very beautiful; this country so many take for granted which really is the most wonderful and incredible place to live.

A Mother’s Energy

A Mother's Energy

I sat quietly in meditation, my intention to send love and healing to all those who are suffering at this time. My focus not particularly on any one person but on the vibration of the injured souls throughout the world. The music in the background was not familiar to me, it was mainly piano which is not the usual music to which I meditate, if indeed I have any. The piece was hauntingly beautiful starting out very gently, soothing me, taking me inside myself to that place where I go before I can release the infinite energy from within. I felt that wonderfully familiar calm flow through me, erupting softly, the energy flowing from it in many beautiful pastel shades, mauves, pinks, crimsons, pale but vibrant blues and greens, yellows; gold and silver. I felt myself leave my physical presence, a familiar feeling where I am removed from what is happening but still aware of every sensation, every touch, every sound. As the music washed over and around me it carried the beautiful multi-coloured energy along with it in healing waves, rolling and swirling all around. It was being drawn mainly in one direction, off across a distance immeasurable in the human scale. I knew, without conscious thought who it was seeking. There, sitting upon a rock, an elbow resting on one knee, the hand rubbing his stubbled chin, cigarette in hand. The other hand resting on the knee dangling off the edge of the rock before him. At first glance the man looked peaceful, at home but then as the energy drew closer his appearance became more clear. The eyes were hollow with little life, the face which once had known laughter was now drawn with worry and fatigue, the shoulders striving to maintain a position of pride slightly hunched and a little concave. A mere shell of the vibrant man that had once been.

As I watched the energy draw closer and closer to the man the music built into a minor crescendo. From out of nowhere the sound of a sudden storm erupted. The man sat and watched the energy descending on him, disinterested and seemingly unaffected. It was almost as though he had been through this all before to no avail. His shield of pain and disillusionment had never been penetrated. Lightning flashed and as it did I felt another presence formulating in the energy. The mans eyes widened as he too saw the beautiful apparition. The energy was female, of the earth, of the Universe. The most powerful of energies, that of the essence of the Mother. As the man struggled to hold his battered and beaten energy in tact more lightning flashed, seemingly from the Mother energies heart. It enveloped everything before it, the man, the rock, the country side and me. The feeling of the most profound love overcame me as I felt my energy being lifted further still by this magnificent presence. The man reached toward the presence tentatively as though afraid she would vanish into thin air. Rain, soft gentle and healing fell gently upon the earth, upon the man. As I watched, my energy surrounding him in a loving cocoon the Mother presence laid one hand upon his cheek, gently soothing. He winced as though he were going to pull away and then his sad demeanour crumpled. Tears streamed down his face, mixing with the rain on his cheeks. The presence caught the tears but not the rain, in her other hand. Each time her hand filled with tears she cast them all around on to the barren land. As each tear was absorbed into the earth the soil around the man became fertile and tiny green shoots sprung forth. The tears washed the shadows from the man’s eyes until they were sparkling and full of life just as the land around him was awakening. Before long the swirling colourful energy was totally absorbed by this new environment. Birds of all colours flittered in nearby trees, wild flowers carpeted the desert floor. Crickets sounded gleefully, chirping joyfully at the abundance of life.

As the music mellowed once again the presence began to fade. She touched both of the man’s cheeks and kissed his forehead, then rested her hands upon his chest. The energy which held her presence so strongly flowed rapidly through the man, giving him sustenance. As I watched, the presence dwindled into a mere wisp of colour. The man stood proudly, full of wonder at the energy flowing through him, knowing that though the energy was no longer visible to him, she is forever with him, within him, keeping him strong, urging him to live and enjoy the flame of life she has reignited within him. The man turned and smiled at me, right into my soul, off in the distance I heard a lion roar……

Fear ~ that ‘other person’ in your head

Fear ~ that 'other person' in your head

“Worry is a terrible thing; like having another person in your head.” ~ taken from Ten Weeks in Africa written by J M Shaw.

These words jumped off the page at me this morning. I indicated in my last blog that next I would share my thoughts on fear. The quote above has prompted me to do so today. I am including in this an article, for want of a better word, which I ‘channelled’ in 2009. I share it with you exactly as it came to me:

“Fear; the most consuming emotion in the human spectrum. Fear is the greatest block that a human will have to deal with and deal with it you must. It must be confronted, defeated and diminished to a level that allows you to live wisely, trusting your intuition to guide you instead of the fear that constantly holds you back.

Fear leads to a great lack of self-worth. It holds your heart in a tight fist, allowing no growth, keeping it constricted, unable to function in the most fundamental manner of giving and receiving.

Some believe that it is easier to live in fear than it is to defeat the cause of their pain. These are the ones who are unable to experience the joy in life, the sweetness of true acceptance and love. Much of the dis-ease on Earth today can be attributed to fear. Your physical bodies hold within the pain that comes from fear, it lodges in an area of weakness, growing and manifesting into illness. To cure many of your Earthly diseases the first step should be to address the emotionally crippling fear from which the illness arose.

Addictions are a direct result of one feeling unable to face fear and turning to a substance that for a time appears to offer an escape from the pain and uncertainty in life. What the addict fails to acknowledge is that the paranoia brought on by the altered state is no more desirable or beneficial than that which is driving the addiction. Alcohol and drugs are mere masks offering no solutions.

Fear of living in your true power leads to a misuse of your personal power. To be a powerful person is to be one who has self-love, the love of and for fellow man. While this may seem a simplistic view it is all that is necessary to overcome the negatives. A misuse of power is due to fear and insecurity in oneself and one’s ability to perform a given task. A bully lives in fear of being defeated, of being ridiculed; unworthy so therefore he projects these very things onto others. Bullies demand respect which will never be forthcoming as respect is one aspect of love and love is something which must be given and received freely and willingly, with no expectations.

Many relationships fail due to fear from either one or both partners being unable to overcome the fear of commitment or the fear of failure or the fear of ‘surrendering’ the self to another. What they do not recognize is that in this surrender is a completeness brought about by releasing the fear of inadequacy and allowing love to lift and empower themselves and their partner.

Fear creates a tremendous imbalance in life. Dark outweighs light, pain and anger dominate happiness and joy; and so the cycle of negativity continues.

Those who use fear as a tool of dominance are committing a gross disservice to all concerned. The threat of punishment either physical or emotional is driven by insecurity and non-acceptance. Hate, anger and cruelty all stem from fears; either your own or those which have been forced upon you by others within your environment.

The most basic and essential task for all of mankind is to work on releasing fear and allowing love to guide your to contentment, joy and respect. Once this is attained peace and unity are unavoidable!”

To me there are basically only two real fundamental emotions – Fear and Love. Every emotion; every feeling; every action; every reaction; in fact everything we do comes from either one or the other of these driving forces. Fear, for the most part, comes from lack of knowledge and understanding. If we enable ourselves through learning to understand that which strikes fear into us at least we are then better equipped to handle it in our daily lives.

Often the fear which impacts us most is that of actually releasing pain. I know that this sounds strange as we all say that we would love to be free of the emotional pain which on some level haunts us all. There are, in my experience as a therapist, many instances where a person feels that without their pain they would have nothing. This is not a conscious thought, I am not saying that people consciously, willing hold on to their pain. I am saying that at times it feels, on a subconscious level that pain is what validates them. They have lived with their pain and their horror for so long that it has become a crutch to them… it has become their identity and if they were to release it who then would they become? The fear of that unknown ‘fearless’ identity is overwhelming. The whole scenario of unworthiness takes hold for they feel that they do not have the right to expect that their lives could possibly become full of peace; laughter and joy; love; even though that is what they would dearly love to have. It is frightening to think that they will have to readjust their life to accommodate a whole new set of feelings and emotions. What they do not realise is that it is an automatic occurrence. When we release fear love is all that is left to us.

I do not mean love as in the traditional meaning of the word, though usually once fear is release that one of one love comes freely also. I mean love as in self-love, acceptance of self, acceptance of what happens within our lives and the ability to make changes or change our perspectives to enable us to live a more peaceful existence.

I have another piece of writing from March 2010 which I would like to share with you about an amazing young Rwandan who proves that love can overcome the fear that I have described above. I will dig through my archives and find it and post it here soon.

2014 A time of change

2014 A time of change

10 January 2014

A time of change

“2014 will be a year of change for me”… I had no sooner uttered these words than the Universe responded. A timely reminder that our thoughts become our reality. In the recent past I have been in a state of what I like to think of as auto pilot. I am sure that we have all experienced this from time to time, where we switch off to as many outside influences as possible and spend time looking inward. It may be for a very short time or, as in my case, a little longer however one thing I know for certain is that when the time is right to step back into the driver’s seat we can only ignore it for so long.

As the life that I have known crumbles around me on both a personal and a professional level I go through a huge range of emotions, all of them very human and totally expected. However, on another level I find myself experiencing something which is almost like an out of body experience. I observe the ‘destruction’ from a totally different perspective and know that it is necessary for me to be able to achieve what it is that I yearn for most. Already I am sifting through the rubble deciding what is salvageable and what is best left as it is. It is surprising how little I feel inclined to take with me on the next step of my journey.

There are some things that one can never let go of no matter what life throws at us. These I see as part of my ‘contract’ or as some may call them my destiny or fate. They are no burden to carry as they are of great importance to me. Those which are easily released are merely part of an experience which took place on the peripheral of my life path, the detours along the way which make life a little more interesting and or challenging as opposed to those which are an integral part of my life’s journey, a part of my soul purpose for being.

It seems that with barely more than a week of the New Year gone by I am already being faced with challenges to make the changes I have been thinking of. Immediately after posting my last blog and sharing it via social media, a page suggestion appeared on my screen, one I’d not seen before. It was for a spiritual group in a nearby suburb which is resuming this coming weekend after the Christmas break. Coincidence? Some may say so, me I take it as a message from Spirit that it is time to get back to that which gives me the opportunity to be the ‘real’ me.

A return to work after a much needed time of rest and soul searching revealed changes which impact on me immensely. It is up to me now to meet the challenges this places before me. From which perspective will I finally view them? I am still in the processing stage of this, still sifting through the rubble to see what can be salvaged. Life is about choices and we alone are the ones who can make the best choice for ourselves. No matter what others may lay before us it is up to us which perspective we use to view it. The one thing that I have learned in life is that to allow the opinion of others to influence your choices takes away your ability to stand in your truth. While some are comfortable with that it is not my way. There are many well-meaning people out there who feel they know what is best for you, by all means listen to their advice but let your final decision be one that comes from your own thoughts and feelings, not someone else’s. When others make suggestions about what is best for you they are making them from their own perspective. Let your intuition, your inner wisdom guide you and know that whatever choice you make it is the correct one because you have made it by your own means.

Fear of the unknown is what holds most of us back. Maybe it is time to trust….

I think I have just found the next topic I will write about.